It's all about me

单身

2011-05-16T15:22:00.003+08:00

最近在微博看见这个,马上想到了你... 朋友,近来可好? 今天没上班吗? 没上MSN喔.

总有人问你,有对象没?呵呵,没有呢.不可能吧!其实,那是真的,不是没人追,只是没有合适的;不是眼光高,只是没有感觉的.也许有时想恋爱,想让自己不在寂寞,可是那个人却没有,不想随随便便的爱了.因为有一种单身叫"宁缺勿滥",有一种单身只为等待某人.

是不是很像你? 想你了... ^,^

飞呀飞~

2011-04-06T15:39:00.003+08:00

好久没有update我的部落格了.. 今天有点闲,又开始survey回家的飞机票.. 想一想,我今年好像坐飞机多过坐巴士.. 几乎每一个月都在飞.. 1月4日从槟城飞回小新 1月31日从小新飞往槟城 2月7日又从槟城飞回小新 3月2日飞去台湾 3月9日飞回小新 3月21日飞深圳 3月22日从香港飞回小新 3月31日飞回槟城 4月3日飞回小新现在正考虑 5月要不要回,还要买 6月回去参加好朋友的婚礼... 7月如果可以不回了, 8月要飞KL去金马仑玩, 9月或10月看我哥的新屋什么时候搞定,要搬家,可能要休假回去帮忙.. 11月哥哥结婚,圣指已经下来了要我最少请假2天... 12月不用说, company肯定有shut down到时候又回家好了... 如果budget airline也有royalty program让我储存milleage point, 那该有多好啊...

梦

2011-02-13T15:21:00.002+08:00

你是个会做梦的人吗?常常有梦吗?
我是个很能做梦的人,白日梦我更强!哈哈...
但是夜梦,我还真的不少.
最近常常梦见一个老朋友. 说实在的我也不确定我们还是不是朋友.
毕竟经过那见事后,我俩就不在见面.现在回想起来还真的很好笑.
没错,这个人就是我那前男友.还记得哪个时候是在电话里说分手的.当时我在槟城他在马六甲. 电话里说说就分了;以为分了就不会在见面了. 但是在分手前竟然借了他一笔钱. 好笑的是,就算在不想见到他,钱我还是要!所以分手后,他每个月以分期付款的方式拿钱来我家还我.更好笑的是,我们从分开之后没有交接,只有到了该还钱的时候他就会来电说他现在过来我家,然后他到我家门口,我出去接了我的钱之后他就走了,我们连一句话也没有说. 终于钱还完了,我们也就更没有必要在联络了.
父亲往生不久,有一晚我梦见了我前男友和我父亲俩人看着我对我笑.想了很久,我给自己解梦觉得这是生离死别的寓意.我以生离死别的发音去买了4D, 生离死别我就买3648,结果三奖开了1648,我没有赢. 哈哈..
不过说实在的,分开了这么久了,我甚至不记得他到底是姓黄还是姓王.真的,不要怀疑,我也觉得我自己很over!不过如果有机会,我还是会希望我们还是朋友.

想念，我也很想念爸爸。。

2011-01-08T20:53:00.002+08:00

刚刚打电话回家，哥哥说妈妈在哭，她很想念爸爸。
还记得懂事以来妈妈跟爸爸常常吵架，妈妈总是碎碎念碎碎念。爸爸有时不理有时会大声喊回去。到我上中学了，家里经营了咖啡店生意，妈妈跟爸爸总是闹意见，两个人就像冤家一样。人说不是冤家不聚头，两夫妻总是吵吵闹闹的。妈妈有时受了气也会说气话。
到我上大学，家里人少了，两个人不再吵个不停，虽然偶尔也会听妈妈在念爸爸做了什么怎么样了。毕业了上班去了，他们也结了咖啡店的生意，在家里两个人互对有时也吵吵架，有时也还蛮恩爱下的。
到我离家来新加坡工作，两人的感情就更好了。两人互相依赖，妈妈照顾爸爸，爸爸照顾妈妈。感情好的很。这些年来他们俩老是这样互相依偎的过的。妈妈去做义工，爸爸会载她去，想去哪里，爸爸会带她去，有时买点什么东西回来，爸爸会替妈妈穷开心一场。爸爸生病，妈妈又是医生又是护士的悉心照顾，爸爸有时闹小孩子脾气妈妈会哄他。有时两个人在家里无聊，爸爸还会载妈妈到附近的超市吹吹冷气。我不在家的这两年，两个人是这样子过的。
爸爸的脚龟裂，妈妈买草药帮他洗脚，晚上还帮他搽药，长时间很细心的照顾，爸爸的脚终于好了。上次我回去爸爸还很开心的show我他的脚好了。
晚上妈妈会去爸爸房间讲话，吹冷气，吹到冷冷了才回自己的房间睡觉。

现在爸爸走了，走得太快了，妈妈说她根本就没想到会是这样。当医生告诉她把爸爸带回家时她也没有想过爸爸要走了。她一定是最不能接受这个事实的人。妈妈后来告诉我，如果这事发生在多年前，她不会这么心疼。但是现在她的心很疼，因为在我离开家里的这两年来他们是互相扶持的在过，爸爸很疼妈妈，妈妈也很宠爸爸。
还在家的那几天，没有人的时候妈妈会偷偷在哭，和我们出去的时候也会哭，她说她很想念爸爸。我陪她去买东西的时候她也会想起爸爸也曾经陪着她来买。
妈妈，我知道你很不舍也很难过，我们何尝不是。我们也没能接受爸爸已经不再人间的事实。心也很痛。但是现在看见你哭，听见你的哭，我的心是更加的痛。
真的很担心妈妈，她失去了精神寄托，真的很担心她，不希望看见她哭。希望妈妈可以快点度过这个阴霾。

树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不在

2011-01-07T21:56:00.003+08:00

树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不在。
18日爸爸入院到23日他往生了，我都没能在他身边敬最后的孝道。
遗憾，忏悔，悲泣，这是我这辈子27个年头来受到最大最大的打击。
愧疚感一直在攻击我，无时无刻在我脑海里提醒我父亲往生前后的画面。

最后一次和他通话是在18日晚，他说“ahju，爸爸很好，爸爸没有事了，不用担心，不用想爸爸的，你好好去做工。”5天后，他竟然走了。
太快了，这一切太快了。
18日爸爸因为发烧呕吐送院，打点滴过后病情好转。
19日医生发现爸爸的胆有些黄，提议停某个药，然后继续留院观察。
20日胆不再黄。。爸爸吵着想出院。。妈妈担心，要爸爸在住一天。
21日爸爸上大号出来后，妈妈发现他脸色苍白毫无血色手脚冰冷，一看排泄物呈黑色，马上通知医生，医生scope了之后发现胃溃疡，流了4包血。马上转到HDU输血2包。因为父亲有吃血清药，必须停止服用血清药否则血流不止。
22日没有服用血清药的父亲因为血液转浓，呼吸变得薄弱，开始气喘。晚间心脏衰弱，转入ICU急救观察。
23日再度心脏爆发，医生给两个选择，开刀或插喉，当时只有我哥一人在医院，他六神无主，打电话给我的其他哥哥们，没人愿意做决定，我哥最后决定插喉。打了4只强心针，结果还是救不回爸爸。

而我呢，做了什么？什么都没有做到。为什么会这样呢?爸爸妈妈哥哥都太宠溺我了，怕我担心怕我慌，都不跟我说。结果我竟然都不懂！18日父亲说他没事不用回来。 19日妈妈说爸爸没事，20日妈妈说爸爸闹着要出院，她不肯偷偷请医生在留爸爸一天，21日晚上10点打电话回家没人接，打妈妈手机说到医院看爸爸。我心突然觉得不妙，问她为什么这么夜了还去医院，妈妈说她和哥哥两人在家也没什么事做。22日在MSN 逼问嫂嫂到底是怎么样了，她无奈告诉我爸爸进了ICU，我慌了！她说没事Stable了。后来我问哥哥他说你如果有时间可以回来，我说怎么样了，他说没事stable。愚痴的我竟然没有想多，还在想23日关了帐后24日早上一早的飞机回去，买了24日的飞机。23日早上，心情很复杂一早就到公司去，9点多我妈打来你可以马上回来吗？我问她发生什么事了？她说我只能说你想办法马上回来。我更慌了。这是是么意思？！我直接去跟我老板说我要请假，她问我怎么了，我泪直接流了，我说我不知道，我只知道我父亲在ICU里。我要马上回家！老板马上帮我安排换到了下午3点的机票。10点哥哥打电话来说可以回来吗，我说回！安排着了。马上收了我的东西就回家去打包行李，强忍眼泪回到家就决堤了！我的心就像要裂开般疼痛，站也不是坐也不对，我随便收拾几件衣服就出发去机场等候了。到机场才12点，离柜台open的时间还差1小时，我随便找点东西吃后就在回去等counter open。一点我终于拿到了我的登机证，我打电话给我哥，电话那里听到的是阿弥陀佛的佛号声，我疯了！我问他怎么样了！哥哥说没事，回家了！不能怎么样了！你回来就是了。那个时候的我像疯子一样在机场狂哭，我受不了了。我要知道！那2个小时的候机时间是我这辈子等最久的一班飞机！时间过得极其的慢。终于上了飞机，我一直在想，胡思乱想，我甚至在想即便把我这辈子的运气都赌上了，可否让我看见爸爸好好的，或是让他一定要等我。到了槟城飞机场是，我跑着出来等到的是我嫂嫂。我不知道要说什么，也很怕她跟我说什么。当天下着很大很大的雨，我整条路都在哭。到半途时我忍不住问她，爸爸有等我吗? 她说他知道的。天啊，这是什么样的答案，一路上我一直在求，求说我父亲可以等到我。临到家前，嫂嫂说不要生气他们，他们是不想要你担心。可是当我到家的时候我差点要昏了过去。我的脑子一片空白，我家门前搭好了帐篷，还有师傅在布置佛台，家人都穿白衣黑裤。我整个人腿软。看见我妈妈，我走过出抱着她，整个人软了，根本就没有办法自己站着！过了一下子，妈妈说带我进去看爸爸，但是不可以哭否则会障碍到他。我忍着泪水进屋看见父亲躺在一张床上盖着一张往生被。妈妈翻开往生被让我看的时候，我的心犹如被撕裂般痛! 是我的爸爸啊！是最疼爱我的爸爸。是那个我小时候每天抱着我哄我睡得爸爸，是那个每每我不开心时向他投诉的爸爸，是那个每天我打电话回家接我电话的爸爸，是那个每天喊我吃饭的爸爸，是那个每次新年就很紧张的爸爸，是那个总是叫我不要担心的爸爸，是那个我整天向他撒娇的爸爸，是我最宝贝的爸爸呀！爸爸，是我不孝！没能在你临终时在你身边。ahju对不起您，对不起妈妈哥哥。对不起自己。后来妈妈的朋友还来跟我说，不要怪你妈妈哥哥，是你爸爸不希望你担心。我更是惭愧啊！我那里有资格怪妈妈哥哥，我就是太不懂事了他们才会担心我担心而不告诉我。我那里敢怪他们呢，我只怪我自己，愚痴的我！愚痴啊！哥哥后来对我说他其实有多希望我回来，他说这些日子他撑不住了，他希望我回来他心才能安定。我问他，那为什么不直接叫我回来呢？他说他以为会好好的！没有想到会是这样子的。妈妈也对我说，她根本就没有想到会这样就走了，否则她会让我回来的。我说妈妈我没有怪你，没有怪你。
痛，从来没有过的痛。太无常了！太快了。爸爸还在讲他的脚能走了可以来新加坡看我了，还做了passport.结果一次都没有来过。
遗憾呀，有太多的遗憾了。太多了！现在只能希望妈妈过得好好的，要好好地孝顺妈妈，把所有的遗憾都补偿给妈妈。
爸爸呀，希望你放下一切，往生极乐国。
ju是时候要成熟稳重，不能再像以前那样小孩子脾性，是要站在妈妈前面保护她的时候了。

My heart is souring..

2010-12-18T22:09:00.002+08:00

My heart is souring..my father was admitted to hospital today. He had high fever on yesterday night and vomitted alot. As per my mum, the condition is so critical last night. My brother said he cried when he saw dad vomit.

79.. my father is 79 years old now. sometime, I'm wondering..did i made the right choice to leave home and work here. Yes, Singapore is not so far away from Penang.. just 1 hour flight time. But, it's not that i can fly back or be there at the moment they need me. i just couldn't be there. Y_Y

What can i do? everytime when i got to know that he is fever or he is not feeling well, i can just cry here and call back to check out how is his condition. Whether or not they tell me the truth, i don't know! I know that my mum, my brother don't want me to worry, they will just tell me not to worry and everything is under control. Of course, i hope everything is just fine, that's all i wish.

As usual, i called back just now and talked to my dad and he said:" ju, 爸爸没有事,爸爸好好,不用想爸爸..你好好去做工..没有事,不用担心!"... yes, i feel better when i hear his voice sounds okie but i feel so bad because when he is sick, i couldn't be there taking care of him.

i'm also quite worry of my mum too. everytime when dad is sick, she will be exhausted..just hope i could be there and helping her out.. Y_Y....
soon, i'll be back very soon. another 14 days.. hope i can fast forward to 1st jan.. and be there at home right away.

好想念我妈妈..

2010-11-27T12:47:00.003+08:00

好想念我妈妈哦...
最近我男朋友的妈妈来在我们家已经一个星期了..
虽然知道如果我和能结婚的话,法律上我也要喊她一声妈了.
但是说实在的,感觉真的很奇怪;可能我想多了,总觉得她没有很喜欢我.
尤其是在饭桌上,那种感觉更是强烈.
或许是他们家的习惯吧...
我们家不同,如果能来我家吃饭,妈妈一定煮一桌子菜,然后拼命叫他吃,不要客气..而且如果我妈妈知道他要来吃饭一定会煮他喜欢吃的食物.
相反的,她每次都只煮他们喜欢吃的食物,然后一直叫自己孩子吃. 如果出去吃,女儿男朋友也一起去的话,她会一直叫他吃,但是我不记得她有如此重视过我.
好想念我妈妈哦..这几天在想,以前在家的时候,一回到家妈妈就会赶紧去热汤添饭,等着我们的永远是那慈祥的妈妈和一桌热腾腾的饭菜,吃饱盘碗放着妈妈还收去洗..现在饭汤要自己添,还要帮人家添;吃饱不只洗自己的盘碗,别人的也得洗!难道这就是媳妇的命运吗?

Bra Lesson

2010-11-05T21:03:00.004+08:00

Being a girl for 27 years and wearing bra for more than 10 years, it is my first time to learn how to properly wear and choose a bra.
i just got to know that for the past 10 years, i'm not choosing the right bra and wearing it correctly! gosh! *blush* haha.. Anyway, it's still not late to learn it now..still going to wear bra for the rest of my life.. you know bra is always so mandatory for us - female. :D

So happy today, i bought 4 new bras..*what a big spender!!* ..@.@ and i love them so much. *cough cough*..got sales of coz..and it was so tempted. i bought 2 from wacoal, 2 lacey bra..so nice!! after paid, then i realized Triumph also having quite a good offer, so i went over to have a look. The sales gal is so so nice and patient to introduce bra that suits me. I took a few to try and wondering which one suits me better. For once in my life time, i asked the sales girl in to give advice on how to wear a bra.. i felt so shy at first and wondering from where the guts came from; but i did it! She then taught me a lot, from how to choose the right cup, to how to adjust the bra. She even do it for me! help me to wear the bra, adjust the bra strap, help me push my "fats" into the cup *blush*.. lesson learned!!! i bought another 2 from her then. Oh guess what, after i paid, she helped me to apply for membership card and i'm entitled to do a lucky spin.. Guess what again!! i got a camisole which worth $39.90!!! it's the most expensive gift among all the prizes. What a lucky day~~ *lovely*

Well, this is not the most luckiest thing of the day.. oh what's then?? hehehe.. the luckiest thing is i got it FULL sponsorship for all these lovely bras!!! @.@~~ lol

Update: just calculated again and got to know that i have save $86 for buying them today vs the usual price.. @,@!!! it's $21.5 per piece. i love shopping! i love sales!!

湖边的一副画

2010-10-06T15:04:00.004+08:00

昨天心血来潮的,我一个人步行到我家附近的公园去,想说跑一跑.到那里时,天已经逐渐黑了.想想还是别跑了..就去到公园的湖边坐下,吹吹凉风,看看风景的. 由于天色渐黑,公园里的人也越来越少. 湖堤边早已坐着两对情侣,还有个老伯坐在树下的木椅上.我找了个空旷位子,舒舒服服的坐下来看风景.
每天只为了上班下班的我,来到了这个寂静的公园,感觉真的很不一样.很轻松很自在.听着小鸟的吱吱声,树林里发出来的沙沙声,看着湖里鱼儿伐起的涟漪和天色从蓝色慢慢渲染成橙色,然后慢慢的暗去..真的好想一副画.

因为是用Iphone拍下来的,所以素质不是很好..

2 years anniversary

2010-09-22T14:53:00.002+08:00

Time flies so fast that it is already my 2nd year anniversary here in Singapore working with this company.
The scene of me crying together with my mum on the night before i left home is still clearly reflects on my mind. i still remember she holding my hand with tears on her face just like she is sending me off. sigh.
2 years..2 years passed just like a click of eyes. Time passed so fast here when life is so mundane. Everyday, wake up, work, off work, sleep.. life here is so boring and if you don't fill up your life with more joy, it is so so so dull.
Hope i could be more mature on decision making and problem solving and learn from all the passed mistake... good luck, JO!

整容

2010-09-21T14:58:00.002+08:00

最近不知道是看太多韩剧,竟然想说要去整容!
哈哈..可能韩剧里的演员都长得太完美了,看一看自己好像...

想想,做个鼻子吧..我的鼻子很扁耶,带眼镜整天要去推高它,不然眼镜好像要掉落似的,整个人看起来就好像阿嬷一样.
再想想,做了鼻子之后,就割个双眼皮吧,眼睛单单的看上去一点精神都没有.
想着想着,说着说着..自己都快笑出来了..
长得那么大,从来都没有想过要在自己身上动刀的人,竟然也会想整容..笑死人了.
哎,我总是在想,那些整容的人到底是下了多少的决心才敢让整容师在自己的脸,身体上动刀..那勇气是我觉得很佩服的.为了变美,在所不惜.佩服呀!
身体发肤授之父母,别说是整容了,我连拔牙都不敢..还谈何整容..

彻彻底底..

2010-09-08T17:34:00.002+08:00

那天回家,想想我最近真的很久才会回家一次,所以心血来潮的就开始整理房间.
把一些我少穿的衣服整理出来,好让我妈妈把这些衣服送给西藏贫苦地区的孩子.
同时也把一些读过的书信整理一下,不要的就丢,要的就收好..
翻啊翻的,竟然发现了一个盒子.

盒子里的东西曾经是很美好的,悲痛的记忆和想封锁的过去.打开这个盒子,就好像打开了我封锁已久的部分记忆,突然全涌了上来.比起以前,现在的我对于盒子里面的东西已经失去了当时的那种感觉.
相片里我身边那个人早已人事以非..望着那张脸孔,感觉是多么的陌生.仿佛我根本就不认识这个人.我尝试去回想,回想以前我们在一起的情景,但是怎么也想不起来...感觉上就好像发了一场梦,梦醒了你我不过是个擦肩而过的俩个人.
转眼间,我和能已经在一起快5年了,5年来很谢谢他对我呵呼有佳,而不至于让我回想起曾经不愉快的往事,彻底的放下了过去的一段情.谢谢你.
过去的早已过去,剩下的也无须在去追忆了,于是我把盒子里的照片,礼物都丢了..将来我只需要望着前方,把握当下就是了...

不要放肆!

2010-09-08T17:18:00.002+08:00

最近,发现我真的很会吃.嘴巴总是不停的在吃东西.
总是觉得嘴痒痒的想咬东西..真是糟糕!
上星期趁工干回家一趟,妈妈煮了很多美食,我也是吃了很多.一天最少4餐,而且份量可不小哦.
回来之后感觉肥了不少,秤了秤好象又没有比较重.但是那个肚皮还真的不小叻!
啊啊!!!!可怕呀. 我一直对自己说不可以这么放肆的吃东西了,可是好像控制不了耶!
现在和以前真的不一样..以前气球体质,要肥就肥,要瘦也不是很难!现在不同了.现在好肥很容易,想瘦...难得很啊!!
陈冠如!你不要那么放肆!给我管好自己...在肥下去,你就惨了!

礼尚往来

2010-08-24T20:20:00.003+08:00

礼尚往来，来而不往非礼也。
这一句谚语只要是有上中文教育的孩子都应该要懂的。。。
对于那些没有受中文教育的人，竟然完全不懂！
难道英文就没有类似这句谚语的POEM吗？
真是搞不懂，那些没受中文教育的孩子，除了英文讲得比较好之外，到底学了什么？
将来我的孩子一定要受中文教育！

好几次了，我想晒衣，如果有她的衣服，我收下来了也会顺手折一折。
但是往往她想晒衣了，我的衣服就会被收下来丢在一旁。折起来有很花你时间吗？
如果真的没有时间那跟我说，我收我折就好了嘛。

礼尚往来你不懂，你做初一我做十五你不会不懂吧?你想要我这样对你吗？

下一站,幸福

2010-08-16T16:58:00.006+08:00

终于把下一站,幸福看完了!!

之前不是没有时间看,而是一直持着偏见,一味的认为这套偶像剧一定没什么看头.即便很多朋友看了之后都说很赞,我还是把它搁置一旁.
终于在我闷得慌的时候,翻一翻电脑存档发现了这部戏,勉为其难的开始看.
看了看后发现故事真的很棒,也演的很好.我只能说真的很好看.

之前我一直觉得吴建豪是个不会演戏的花瓶,看完后我感想是他真的进步了很多很多,比起以前在流星花园里扮演的美作,真的好太多了.影像最深刻的是他在医院里接受手术前诊断,被医务人员抽取骨髓的那一幕.那一幕让我觉得他真的痛到..我心也跟着痛.真的很赞,还没看请找时间看一看.

另外,我也想特别推荐这首歌<亲人>,个人很喜欢,听了很有FU..

分享:感动

2010-08-05T11:33:00.002+08:00

也许你曾经读过这篇文章.很感动,让强忍眼泪读完它...请别用有色眼镜来看待别人.学习以不同立场不同角度来辨别是非黑白,别被假象蒙蔽.

一天,一个盲人带着他的导盲犬过街时,一辆大卡车失去控制,直冲过来,盲人当场被撞死,他的导盲犬为了守卫主人, 也一起惨死在车轮底下。主人和狗一起到了天堂门前。一个天使拦住他俩,为难地说:对不起,现在天堂只剩下一个名额,你们两个中必须有一个去地狱。主人一听,连忙问:我的狗又不知道什么是天堂,什么是地狱,能不能让我来决定谁去天堂呢？天使鄙视地看了这个主人一样,皱起了眉头,她想了想,说:很抱歉,先生,每一个灵魂都是平等的,你们要通过比赛决定由谁上天堂。主人失望地问:哦,什么比赛呢？天使说:这个比赛很简单,就是赛跑,从这里跑到天堂的大门,谁先到达目的地,谁就可以上天堂。不过,你也别担心, 因为你已经死了,所以不再是瞎子,而且灵魂的速度跟肉体无关,越单纯善良的人速度越快。主人想了想,同意了。天使让主人和狗准备好,就宣布赛跑开始。她满心以为主人为了进天堂,会拼命往前奔,谁知道主人一点也不忙,慢吞吞地往前走着。更令天使吃惊的是,那条导盲犬也没有奔跑,它配合着主人的步调在旁边慢慢跟着,一步都不肯离开主人。天使恍然大悟:原来,多年来这条导盲犬已经养成了习惯,永远跟着主人行动,在主人的前方守护着他。可恶的主人, 正是利用了这一点,才胸有成竹,稳操胜券,他只要在天堂门口叫他的狗停下就可以了。天使看着这条忠心耿耿的狗,心里很难过,她大声对狗说:你已经为主人献出了生命,现在,你这个主人不再是瞎子,你也不用领着他走路了,你快跑进天堂吧! 可是,无论是主人还是他的狗,都像是没有听到天使的话一样,仍然慢吞吞地地往前走,好像在街上散步似的。果然,离终点还有几步的时候,主人发出一声口令,狗听话地坐下了,天使用鄙视的眼神看着主人。这时,主人笑了,他扭过头对天使说:我终于把我的狗送到天堂了,我最担心的就是它根本不想上天堂,只想跟我在一起...... 所以我才想帮它决定,请你照顾好它。天使愣住了。主人留恋地看着自己的狗,又说:能够用比赛的方式决定真是太好了,只要我再让它往前走几步,它就可以上天堂了。不过它陪伴了我那么多年,这是我第一次可以用自己的眼睛看着它,所以我忍不住想要慢慢地走,多看它一会儿。如果可以的话,我真希望永远看着它走下去。不过天堂到了,那才是它该去的地方,请你照顾好它。说完这些话,主人向狗发出了前进的命令,就在狗到达终点的一刹那,主人像一片羽毛似的落向了地狱的方向。他的狗见了,急忙掉转头,追着主人狂奔。满心懊悔的天使张开翅膀追过去,想要抓住导盲犬,不过那是世界上最纯洁善良的灵魂,速度远比天堂所有的天使都快。所以导盲犬又跟主人在一起了,即使是在地狱,导盲犬也永远守护着它的主人。天使久久地站在那里,喃喃说道:我一开始就错了,这两个灵魂是一体的,他们不能分开...... 最后，我要说：这个世界上,真相只有一个,可是在不同人眼中,却会看出不同的是非曲直。这是为什么呢？其实,道理很简单,因为每个人看待事物,都不可能站在绝对客观公正的立场上,而是或多或少地戴上有色眼镜,用自己的经验、好恶和道德标准来进行评判,结果就是-- 我们看到了假象。

终于...

2010-07-27T18:30:00.002+08:00

讲了很多次,想了又想,等啊等..终于等到了这一天.
我终于买了去台湾的飞机票啦!!!! 哇...终于都买了.
从以前就一直很想去台湾观光,但是飞机票贵,口袋又空..想了很久还是下不了手.记得前年末看见亚航的promotion,来回才RM485.那时候我知道这个价格绝对是最便宜了.可惜当时正当经济萧条,深怕工作不保的我,不敢冒险.后来经济开始复苏了,机票就一直在涨,最低也要RM650. 虽然RM650也不算很高,但别忘了我还需要从小新飞到吉隆坡,又是一笔费用.至于新加坡直飞台湾,最便宜也要大概S$500-$600之间.贵啊!

终于,等到了虎航开辟新航线到台湾..我以S$350(包括机场税和20KG的luggage)买下了明年3月的机票.开心到...终于要去台湾了!!!!

粗心大意

2010-07-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

昨天去逛街,买了一见衣服,谁知今天想找那件新衣时却发现不见了.
原来是我这粗心大意的人把它遗留在昨天吃午餐的餐厅里. @.@!!!
好彩那件衣服只是$9.90,不是很贵重的东西,否则我真的是会...唉!
为什么我总是那么粗心大意!我记得小时候妈妈最怕就是我帮她提东西.我可以一边提一边丢的.要不就是我放下来后,我就忘了要把它们再提起来了.
唉,有时我在想,如果我也可以轻易的把烦恼放下,然后把它们遗留在某个地方,不再提起,那该有多好呢?

宽容别人，善待自己

2010-07-22T21:54:00.002+08:00

今天读到一篇文章，标题：宽容别人，就等于宽容自己。
很多时候因为没有办法原谅别人的所做所为，对于某些事情总是耿耿于怀，无法放下。也因为无法放下，在生气别人的当儿，我同时也背负着沉重的担子。被生气的人不见得知道我在生气，而我却因为放不下而不开心。

很多时候我们总是“宽以律己，严以待人”，希望别人都应该是这样或是那样，但是往往当我们对别人的期望越高时，失望也越大，最终受伤害的还是自己。

以前参与慈济的时候，总是把知足，感恩，善解，包容挂在嘴边，但说的出却不代表做得到。说真的对于知足，感恩，善解，包容，我个人认为最难的还是包容；要先懂得知足，才会心存感恩，善解后才得以包容。

前几天看了一封转载的邮件，看见了一些证严法师对于一些问题的回答。

如何才能不與人計較？
證嚴上人回答：真正自愛的人，是不會與人計較的。自愛不是私愛，若能自愛，相對的也能對他人尊重。如同天平的兩頭，一頭下垂，另一頭就上升。你若與人斤斤計較，人格就會低落；你若謙恭低下，人格就會昇華。然而只有強忍是不夠的，還要吞下去，再把它消化，到什麼都沒有為止。如果一再計較，只會徒增是非煩惱而已。所以要內修謙虛─將心擴大，人人都能包容；外修禮儀─將自己縮小，鑽入人人的心坎裡。所謂「公修公得，婆修婆得，不修不得」，若別人以壞聲色待你，不要與他計較，而應更用心自我反省─是哪一點沒做好，而令別人有所不滿？找出癥結後力求改進，直到令人見了就歡喜。如果是對方錯誤，我們應該憐憫他、耐心地輔導他。如此便能一團和氣，彼此和睦相處，也就不會有計較的事端發生了。

好一句强忍是不够的，还要吞下去，再把它消化到什么都没有为此。好有智慧的回答。
其实师公说得对，一再计较只会增加自身的烦恼而已。
是时候要善待自己了。
看完这篇部落，希望你也和我一样，学习放下，宽容别人，善待自己。

My one and only

2010-07-21T21:50:00.001+08:00

Can't stop myself of loving him..my one and only idol.. JJ Lin

Movie: Despicable Me

2010-07-20T23:11:00.005+08:00

Finally i went to watch this animation that i wanted to watch 2 weeks ago!
it's another nice animation that you should not miss!
if you are stress, just take a break and watch this cute animation and stress will be off!

Overall Experience: Very funny and stress off animation. story line is simple but cute and i had a great laugh. love the cute tiny yellow thingy that wear blue jump suits. so damn cute!! hehe..

Dissapointed

2010-07-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

Dissapointment!!!

Getting really frustrated when I'm always the person who care about the cleanliness of this house! It's annoyed that nobody bother to care! You don't care, I care! But why?! Why must I be the only person who care? Why am I the one who always do the cleaning? I' getting so super irritated when it's so dirty and dusty and eveyone jz so blind to ignore it!

If u think u are busy, me too! If u think you have other things more important then doing cleaning, me too! If you can shake yor leg watching animation/ drama episode/ Paktor with your bf and have no time to do this shit cleaning job, then why should I?!
If you think you guys can leave this shit jobs for me, then I'm sorry. I quit! I quit! Yes, I quit!!!

If you think saying :'if you don't want to do, you can tell me and i will do' is comforting me then you are totally wrong! What I'm asking is a fair square, why only me? And why only you!? It's not only us staying in this place, why should the rest of them taking granted!? It's not fair!! You are not solving the problem, you are just trying to comfort my grievances! Can't I complain?! Can't I have my right to voice out my unhapiness!? Why am I always get your expression that I'm so calculative, so un-tolerate! Why?! I am very fed-up! I try not to complaint and even not comment but I feel very unhappy. I thought you were there to share my feeling but everytime when I finally released to you, I get the accuse of not being understanding. This is tiring and I believe you are as tiring as me.

Dissapointed!

Movie: Inception

2010-07-18T20:33:00.007+08:00

Watched this movie by Ronaldo DiCaprio on last saturday. It is a highly recommended movie with great review. I don't know about this movie until my colleague told me how good was the review and it won like 4.5/5 rating movie from most of the person who watched this movie before.

it's quite a long movie with 2 hours 30mins show time. The movie is about Dom Cobb (Ronaldo DiCaprio) who is a skill thief who stealing secret from others' mind while dreaming. Due to a failed mission, he was offerred by his "target" to incept an idea or thought into his competitor's son mind.

Overall experience: The story line is quite unique and nice. It definitely worth the value and time to watch this movie. Thumb up!

Trailer for you...

Fine Dining

2010-07-18T17:59:00.006+08:00

i have never experience a "fine dining" until i had one last night. Thanks to keebs who was promoted to Manager.

Lobster and Chicken Wellington

Surf and Turf

the group photo

Checked in wikipedia and found this "Fine dining restaurants are full service restaurants with specific dedicated meal courses. Décor of such restaurants feature higher quality materials with an eye towards the "atmosphere" desired by the restaurateur. The wait staff is usually highly trained and often wears more formal attire. Fine-dining restaurants are almost always small businesses and are generally either single-location operations or have just a few locations. Food portions are smaller but more visually appealing as well."

Actually before we came across this restaurant "Lawry's The Prime Rib", we been to some other restaurant, and our friend said: "this is not fine dining", then we found this restaurant nearby. It's my 1st time tried this so called "fine dining".

Overall experience: food is good, price is no doubt expensive, ambience is eye catching. However, i don't feel that i'm fine dining person. I'm just not so into it.

Discount voucher

2010-07-13T17:22:00.003+08:00

Few weeks ago, I received a 50% voucher posted to my mailing address from Ahava who is a beauty product brand like the face shop and skin food. With this 50% voucher, I"ve been thinking if I have anything to purchase from their shop and enjoy this so called 50% discount. However, I'm only using their hand cream and not intended to buy another 1 because I only used up like less than 20% after I purchased for more than half years.

So I went to that shop to check out if there is something suitable for me. After a glance, I saw their best selling shampoo and The price is not cheap. So I asked the sales girl if the voucher is applicable to everything in the shop. She said yes and then she lead me to one of their most expensive item and said "this is most worth it because you can save more". I took a look and realized the price is $84 and understand I would save $42 if I purchased that. It is a beauty serum that can help to replenish nutrient, refine skin and all sort of benefits.
I didn't buy it anyway because I forgot to bring the voucher with me so I told her I will come back again.

After that I went back and surfed from the net on the review of this beauty serum. Looks like the reviews are average good. With all the positive comment, I have decided to try it out, somehow I can save $42. Sounds great, right?
No, I didn't buy it at last and the voucher was expired 2 days ago. Reason behind is am I really need that beauty foru
? Am I really save of $42? From the beginning, i have nothing to buy from their shop. However, just because i want to fully utilize that voucher, I going to buy their highest range product to maxize my saving value. That is not right, right? I don't have to spend the 1st $42 to get myself a saving of $42! If I need this product, yes it has indeed a saving, but it's not for my case whereby I only want to use up the voucher and simply find somthing to buy.

I'm lucky finally I get this point and stop myself from spending unwisely.

真实最可爱（脾气没了，福气来了）

2010-07-12T22:44:00.005+08:00

"很多时候，我们希望自己能更讨人喜欢，更有魅力，所以我们聪明的察颜观色，进而利用自己并不具有的人格特质去讨好别人，以达到某种目的。
因为身为社会的一分子，人不可能完全跳开社会角色、物质、地位与职业；于是，我们都希望得到更多人尊重与喜欢，希望别人对自己另眼相看。
所以我们学会伪装自己，带上假面，覆上重重的保护色，让自己成为一只变色龙，穿梭在不同场合中。
然而，在回到自己一个人独处的空间时，因疲累而叹息，因为逐渐不认识自己而流泪..."

读到这里我的泪差点落下！写得很真实，我就是那么一个顶着一副面具，没有自信，深怕弱点暴露在别人面前的人。
虚伪的以为隐藏真实的自我才会过的好一点！孰不知，我一直在压抑自己也迷失了自己！又有谁会知道好多时候，我会因为过度压抑而在偷偷哭泣，有谁明白很多时候我很讨厌虚假的我。
小心翼翼，思前顾后很多时候只会换来一句＂你很假！＂
真诚相待难道又会换来一句＂你很真＂吗？
反正真诚或虚伪都未必能换来我们想要的认同，不是吗？
那何不做我自己，最起码不用压抑自己讨好别人！

省省省...

2010-07-11T21:31:00.003+08:00

节省是一种美德,你拥有这种美德吗?
对于这问题,我不知道该如何回答.说我节省也行,说我花钱如流水也不为过呀!果真有够矛盾的.
说真的,工作了5年,前3年赚的零吉到这两年的新币,我又省下了多少呢?真是残念!

想起以前读书时候,因为家里的经济不太好,4年的大学生涯是靠我省吃减用的挨过来的.靠着政府贷款,我4年来没有跟家人要过一分钱.
一毕业,我很快就找到了份还不错的工作,领着一份虽不多但却足够让我在不久之后支付我那小车的头期钱和一个手提式电脑.领了薪水,25%供车,35%负担家庭,剩下的真的不多,更别说能省下多少.

后来因缘聚足,我来到了新加坡.一开始人生地不熟,我能省则省,那时候还真的可以收一点小钱.但后来男朋友跟过来了,有伴了,也慢慢熟悉了这里的生活方式,我开始不拘小节,出手还算大方的.买东西的欲望从来没有停止过.买这买那的,只要一出门,一定不会空手而返.很糟糕吧..

说说你怎么省钱吧.是不是应该设定一个目标,才比较容易啊?
有的人以买屋子为目标,有的人因为要结婚,有的人因为想去旅行,有的人甚至因为想买哪个名牌包包而努力的拼经济.

来分享如何省钱吧..让我们一起朝目标努力吧..

你有阅读的习惯吗?

2010-07-08T11:45:00.004+08:00

你是一个喜欢看书的人吗? 有阅读的习惯吗?
我觉得我不是一个爱书之人,不是说我不喜欢读书,但最起码不会到爱不释手的程度吧.有的人真的可以无时无刻都拿着一本书在看..走路也在看,等车也在看,站也看,坐也看,管他电车里的人是多到连站都有点难,他们还是在看!真不得不服啊!

回想从前,我看过最多的书籍或许就是课本和一些学业上有需要的课业参考书吧.读书读书,我记得从小妈妈就灌输我们要读好书,将来才能有所作为.可是,我觉得我妈教育我们的方法是读好书,考个好成绩,而并非培养阅读的习惯.当然这绝对是我个人的看法.事实上,我家的书橱里摆着最少上百本各种各样的书籍.这些书籍多数是我哥和我妈买的,我买的最多不超过20本,以言情小说为大多数.哈哈,这得感谢我当年年少时对爱情的憧憬.

毕业之后,没有了学业的压力,我失去了读书的理由;想说我需要的不一定能在书里的到. 即便是读好了书,考了个还算不错的成绩,那有怎么样?我一样只是个领薪过日子的打工仔而已.毕业了5年,这5年来我不是没有买过书来看,买了好几本时尚杂志,学着杂志里的模特儿如何变潮变美,照着杂志里介绍的商品买了一样又一样..我其实得到了什么?我还是我,一直很追风的在潮流边缘打混,跟不上也放不下.来这里之前,我买了2本英文书(The five things we cannot change和The Monk who sold his ferrari),算是励志书籍.买下它们的时候,我想说一个人过来这里,(当时我先过来,男朋友两个月后才来)一定很难打发时间.买两本书看看,一来可以消磨时间,二来可以增长智慧.哈哈,这两本书到今天就两年了还完好的放在书橱里.不只如此,人就是不懂得珍惜所拥有的,未曾拥有的才是最好的.记得很久以前在慈济静思书轩里看见了一本名为<相约星期二>,翻了几面之后就对这本书有很深刻的影响,所以当我在新加坡看见英文版的Tuesday with Morrrie时,我没多想就买下了.很可惜这本书还是被我放一边去了.可惜呀可惜!

哦,废话写了太多了,上文只是想说,我良心发现了!哈哈.最近才开始要培养这别人可能早就有的好习惯,没错!就是阅读啦!为什么叫阅读呢? 要读得愉悦才算阅读吧,否则应该只算是看完了一本书,对吗? 说真的新加坡这里还真的蛮提倡读书风气的,这里几乎每一区都有一间图书馆,别看小这些公共图书馆喔,它可是应有尽有哦,设施也是相当先进的.只要你是这里的公民或永久居民,你都可享受免费借书.这下肯本不需要买书啦!

我这个人就是贪小便宜,不用钱的,不借白不借,上个月一次过借了3本.每次借书有3个星期的期限,我用了2个星期才看完第一本蔡智恒的<孔雀森林>,然后在用剩下的一个星期看完第二本台湾主播夫妻档永康和佩珊的<聪明省钱过好日>,在用一天的时间把最后一本日本侦探小说家赤川次朗的<三毛猫追踪>给读完.昨天晚上拼到一点多的结论是,原来看书也能看的那么的投入,也可以很拼!还可以领略到生活上一些我们不太会去关注的事情.不错不错!

今天,兴致勃勃的带这3本书去还,顺代又借了3本.希望这次不会半路出家,又放弃了,加油!有空在分享书中所得吧.

P.s.:终于写完了,好长的一篇.好急..尿道快爆了. :(

心理测验

2010-07-06T22:29:00.005+08:00

来做个心理测验吧。
最近在看着蔡智恒孔雀森林，里面就有一个这样的心理测验。

你在森林里养了好几种动物，马、牛、羊、老虎、孔雀。如果有一天你必须离开森林，而且只能带一种动物离开，你会带哪种动物？

不要想太多，只要凭第一时间的反应作答，才会准哦！

如果有人回应，我会发表测验的答案。

解答来啦...
马 = 自由
牛 = 事业
羊 = 爱情
老虎 = 自尊
孔雀 = 金钱

你觉得你的答案准吗? 我的第一个答案是马,逻辑思维是我觉得马可以快速的带我离开. 牛,羊,老虎和孔雀只会脱慢进度..我是这样想的...
如果你问我,那么马/自由真的是我向往的吗? 我想在某个程度上,它是准确的.我确实酷爱自由,不喜欢被人约束,也不能被人摆布.但是同时我也觉得或许我并不是一个可以接受100%自由的人.我还是会想要有人在身边管管我,说说我.那感觉踏实多了,最起码我不会觉得很空虚寂寞.

至于如果我知道了测验解答之后,我会这么选,我想我有可能会选老虎吧!
或许我就是一个自尊心比男人还要重的大女人吧.
为了面子,有时侯会做一些傻事.(有机会在分享吧)

你呢?解答前和解答后,你还会选一样的动物吗?

Blog reactivated

2010-07-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

Today, i was reminded by my dearest friend- Eve that i have an abandoned blog...infact i have 2.. one is this and the other one is my new life blog that i created when i came to Singapore. (try to login but failed- forgot password again)

Read some of the posts and entry that i logged here, is like my diary recorded all the happiness and upset that i encountered...but something missed! I've been quit sharing for more than a years.. and i lost track of what i have done during this 1 year.. time flies, it's almost coming to 2 years since i came to singapore. i have all the sour sweet bitter spice.

i remembered the last post i posted was about my bad luck in the other blog..i said i wanted to be more active, join more friends, more activity, be more cheerful.. Ends up one year plus, i did nothing! Still, i got very less friend, i stay at home most of the time after work and weekend, and i gave all sort of excuses to not join and mix with ppl i don't really know..haha how pathetic!?

i gonna reactivate this blog...at least this is the only way for me to throw my tantrum, to seek my balance of life..

Worries and pressures

2008-11-17T20:27:00.002+08:00

Lately, my face have lots of breakout.
There are many reason for those breakouts. Can be new environment, can be lack of water and vegetables, can be worrying of being lay off, can be worrying about bf's employment pass application status. Can be everything!!! Really over stress now!

With current economic condition, every where is full of news like retrenchment..this and that. Thanks god, until now there're still no such news from my company, but i am damn worrying about this. Worry to be the last in first out! What a pity!

Before this, i am happily annouched that my bf get the job offer and he is coming to SG very very soon. But this economic crisis really affected someone.
He been informed by his new company HR that they will advice his starting date after getting employment pass for him.

I read his mail and suspected his first application has been rejected and the company is now appealing for the application. I am damn so worry what if touch wood...what he gonna do and feel? If it's not guarantee, i would advice him to play safe take back his resignation letter now (if his boss is ok with it). Else i don't know what will happen.

But if i keep asking him, he will feel very pressure as well. I don't know how to advice him, thinking to talk to him indirectly so that i wont hurt his feeling...

Wish everything going smoothly and pray for god he can get his application pass approved.

New blog created

2008-09-21T00:17:00.002+08:00

As you all know, i have relocated to Singapore for my new work.
Therefore, i have created another blog which i could update my life at Singapore there.
So, please visit http://joyce-newlife.blogspot.com

Here, i will keep it private to only my VIP friends where i can update some of my privacy and secret feeling here.

Again, please visit my new blog at http://joyce-newlife.blogspot.com

Update...

2008-09-05T08:45:00.002+08:00

Well, i have almost forget about this blog...again!
Actually i am too busy to maintain this blog at this moment...because i had tendered resignation and have to settle all my stuff and train person who are going to replace me. So...no choice i am too busy right now..

Yup...you read it right, i have already resigned from this company, serving my one month notice now and going to last on next friday. Yeap!!!

I will be start working soon on 22nd September at Singapore. Yes, Singapore!
A lot of worries and nervous hitting me right now.. yup lots of uncertainty...Not sure what am i going to face there. I have never try to go so far alone. Hope i can get use of it as fast. hehe

Ok, stop here. gonna continue working.

Luck

2008-08-15T16:14:00.003+08:00

Remembered few years back when i did my industrial training at Gurney Hotel Penang, i had a chance to join a seminar about Tarrot card spoke by a Hong Kong famous fortune teller with the nickname of Prince of Horoscope (星座小王子).

It was a memorable one that i can always remember because he said that i am the most lucky one among all (about 30 - 40 person in that seminar). You must be feeling surprise why he would say that. Let me tell you what happened and make him say that.

There was a session where he asked all of us to pick one card (among 72 tarrot cards) and he will tell us about our luck and fate for free. I chose mine and everyone chose theirs. He approached one by one and gave us some words. After that he asked if it is correct or not. When my turn came, he took a glace on the card i chose and said to all that i am a very lucky person. Whatever i want, i will get. No doubt, it was so surprising to hear such words from him. However, i don't believe it. But my friend who followed me to the seminar said that it's true that i am such a person.

Now, i start to believe that i am really a lucky person. Whatever i wish, i will get. Although not everything good happened to me, but it is never something worst. I really appreciate my good luck and hope i can continue good luck with my future..

It's time to work hard

2008-07-28T13:10:00.002+08:00

Since April, i was so demotivated due to poor increment and not being promoted..
Everyday i worked slowly and lazily with my mind just to pass my working hour and go back in time. No performance, no follow up, nothing from me.

Boss asked me to do this, i do that.... sometime i even wake up with stressful mind thinking of not going to work. I was so depressed. I know i was not good enough, but i was so dull to improve.

Yesterday, in sudden.... i think about this issue and get to know that all of this will not bring a single benefit to me. It's time for me to change and to accept the facts. Great...luckily i didn't wait until next increment period to say this words. Then...i can only regret.

Pangkor island

2008-07-09T14:05:00.002+08:00

Yeah..beaches beaches....
Oh ya, my vacation plan has been re-activated.. but plan has been changed to Pangkor island instead of Langkawi...

Received lot of comments from friends that there is nothing in Pangkor...
Why not langkawi, how about tioman, let's go phuket, crabi is cheap... this and that...
Ermm...bit disappointed with this changing plan, but it is much better than none. Right?
Gonna appreciate... yeah babe!
I will be going to beach so soon.. yeah yeah cheap beach that i am still affordable.

hehe...6 of us in gang will be going to this island on 12th and back on 14th. Hope i can take a lot of nice picture and show you here.

It has been so so so damn long time i never go to beach. It's time for sun bath, snorkelling, beach walk, sunrise watch, swimming, ...etc so many things
Yeah..looking forward for the time to come

飞啊飞。。飞啊飞。。飞啊！

2008-07-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

好想有对翅膀让我自由的飞翔。
到哪都行，就是不想原地踏步。

好闷哦。如果可以不必工作，那该有多好？
如果可以到处去旅行，那又有多棒呢？

Langkawi

2008-07-01T14:20:00.002+08:00

Lately, i was getting excited for the trip planned to Langkawi on the coming 12th July.

A lot of expectation has been inserted into this plan.

At 1st, i don't dare to dream as it is very frequent for the gang to cancel the trip.

5 out of 6 was confirmed and waiting for the last one to say 'ON'.

However, the curse was activated again. It's hard for us to have holiday together somewhere nice. The last one finally said "NO" instead of "ON".

Because of this, the gang cancelled the trip. I felt very disappointed as why should we cancel a nice trip just because of one person cannot join. Are we really so inter-dependant on that person?? The result proved that the answer is "YES", the gang think the trip will not be fun without the last person who has joker characteristic.

So..no fate with Langkawi again..again and again for 25 years. muahaha.....

是你吗？

2008-06-18T10:52:00.002+08:00

那天在机场遇见的人是你吗？
那个带着鸭帽，穿着长袖的红t-shirt，配上蓝色长裤的人是你吗？
就连那站着，双手交叉的样子也和你很相似。
我不敢肯定，因为我根本没有时间去确定那人是不是你。
之后我在回想，如果我有时间，我会过去确定吗？
如果真的是你，我会和你打招呼吗?
曾经我问你，分手之后还能成为朋友吗？我们的答案都是“能”！
可是，事实是不行的。
现在的我虽然有那种庆幸当日的分开，
但我想我还是没有勇气与你再度成为朋友。

朋友，你还好吗？谢谢你，让我今日更懂得如何去珍惜我身边的人。

我恨我爱你

2008-06-17T09:40:00.002+08:00

最近在追看台湾的超级星光大道。。上一级听见了一个十五岁的女生唱了这首阿妹的歌。
真的很感动，也觉得很好听，所以刚才去下载了。。

阿妹《我恨我爱你》

面带微笑离开你怀里
我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里
二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你
就放过自己
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你
oh~我爱你
只是因为你是你
oh~我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
没关系…
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句
我爱你

Waiting and waiting

2008-06-17T09:32:00.003+08:00

Last week, i have posted out few resume for job application. Waiting and waiting until today, i still get no call or email from any of the company.

Actually, how long will they complete their short list progress and give you a call??

It has been so long since my last job application. So i forget how long i suppose to wait. I remember not too long, i get it around one or two weeks.

Arghh..really nervous. Hope they will short list me and give me a chance to interview..

Rabbit emoticon

2008-06-13T13:30:00.003+08:00

Does anyone know what is the name of this rabbit?

His name is Tzuki. (兔斯基)

I like this rabbit very much.. hehehe..especially the emoticon in MSN. Very cute and meaningful.

I found the creator of this cute rabbit Tzuki.

Check the website http://blog.sina.com.cn/wangmomo

传言

2008-06-13T11:20:00.003+08:00

昨天回家的时候听见了一个奇闻。有点惊讶，有点担心。

之前在四川省地震前也有过这样的奇事，那就是很多的蟾蜍迁居。当地政府说那是好的预兆，结果发生了地震。

前几天在广州的徐闻县发现了大量的螃蟹从海里爬到树上。将近六万只！可是当地政府说是气候比较反常，动物不太适应而已。没有地震危机。

近日，黑龙江鸡西街头看到蛇结队穿越马路，也算是奇景。可是专家说这种现象属动物的正常迁徙。

我怕，中国可能有还有其他的灾难即将来临。。希望真的风平浪静。

My Celebrity Look-alikes

2008-06-12T09:01:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, i am extremely boring and no mood to work. So i surfed the net and found out this interesting website www.myheritage.com
In this website you can upload your own photo and the website will scan your face and check which celebrity do you looks alike.

Haha.. very interesting huh?! I uploaded one of my currect photo (of course with spec) and most of the look-aliked celebrities are male with spec. So, i think the website match me with celebrity who wear similar spec like me.

Then, i uploaded my photo (without spec) to get a more accurate result. Below are result i get.

Feel very doubt with above result, i upload another photo with different angle. Then, i get another result like below. hahaha....

Oh ya!! you must wondering why my photo (in the middle) are so blur. Actually, i photoshoped my picture.. hehe.. Sorry for that.

Jumping Rope Exercise

2008-06-09T09:15:00.004+08:00

Last saturday, i bought a jumping rope from nearby supermarket. Some people said jump with jumping rope can make you slim! You can exercise your hand, your leg, thigh and hip...all in once.

What you need to do is jumping for 500 times daily! @.@ crazy!!! I tried to jump yesterday after i did my car wash.. i only managed to jump 50 times in total.. Not non-stop. I think i'm only able to jump the most 20 times non-stop..then every 4 times i will stop!

hahaha.. feeling impress with someone who able to jump for so many times. Anyway, i can imagine if i able to jump 500 times daily, most probably i cannot walk next day. Only 50 times, i felt my leg muscle already tighten up... haha...not to mention about 500 times..haha

Insomia

2008-06-09T08:26:00.004+08:00

OMG! I had insomia last night. Trying so hard to make me into sleep, but it was useless!!! I think the charcoal white coffee i drank yesterday morning really...super duper effective!

Normally i will easily feel tired during weekend due to nothing to do. So, to avoid i sleep a lot, i thought drinking a cup of cofee do help. My goodness, it was so great until i felt so energetic for whole day.

I was still very alert at 12am midnight! haha... maybe i think too much about JJ.

Finally...but

2008-06-06T10:44:00.002+08:00

If you did read my blog, you would know i have a trainee who had sat for exam last week and this exam is going to judge her ability to stay in my group.
You may also know that i keep on mentioning about her stupidity and bad attitude and i think it is super obvious for me to show that i don't want her.

Anyhow, that's not what i can judge and decide but only play my role in training her. Frankly speaking, before the exam, i trained her with true heart and i also expected she could pass the test without much major mistakes. That's what i think, sincerely!

However, result shows that i am over-expected her ability. Result proven that she is not capable to work in the group and she failed in fundamental concept which it should not be accepted. My boss wrote a report to the sector head and he then made final decision that she is not suitable for us and will arrange other job for her.

Yesterday, we (my ex-boss, current boss and me) told her (my trainee) that she wasn't suitable for taking this job. She seems don't understand and keep on request for appeal. She said that was just careless mistake and she will be able to make it better for the appeal. She spoke a lot but we are helpless in this condition because the sector head had made the final decision. We were just there to annouce the news to her.

Looking at such condition, i suddenly feel symphatize to her. She is in her 40 now. At this age, she has to suffer this, i believe she is in great pain and desperate now. Although i always want her to get out from the group, but i don't feel any sense of happiness yesterday. I felt weak..because i believe, if i am in her position, i will be so weak and upset. However, i also understand that the fact is cruel and if i show my sympatize to her, it is cruel to myself. Just wish her luck now..hope the sector head can arrange a place for her where she can excel and work happily.

一个，两个，半个

2008-06-06T10:27:00.002+08:00

收到一封来自好朋友的forward messages, 突然间有点感触。。

一个人可以呼呼的睡觉而不用考虑浪费的时间；
一个人可以不用考虑人情味的存在而禁锢自己的思想；
一个人可以把天分成两半而不用考虑天会塌下来

两个人是幸福的，在一个人和另一个人的心重叠时。
两个人可以互相搀扶数着天上的星星而不用考虑事情的烦琐；
两个人可以共同创造快乐而不用担心忧伤的侵袭；
两个人可以一起观赏风景而不用担心风景的语言空白；
两个人可以彼此倾述而不用担心自言自语的孤单；
两个人可以品尝爱的滋味而不用担心自己会演化成冰冷的石头。

半个人是寂寞的，当一个人的心被另一个人带走时。
半个人只能数着黑夜的眼睛去回味曾经；
半个人只能发呆在风景面前去体会寂寞；
半个人只能计数着时间去接受忍耐的缓慢；
半个人只能灌着酒精去麻醉自己的记忆
半个人只能拿着电话筒却不敢再去寻找失去的心；
半个人只能闯进喧闹的人群去卸下孑然的包裹；
半个人只能带着半只翅膀顶过风雨；
半个人只能填饱肚子却不能给空白的心涂上颜色；
半个人只能独自忍受着不能粘合的玻璃碎片蛰出的血泪

一切都在轮回，最后，我们会是几分之几个人？

我也曾近从一个人变成两个人在变成半个人。
当我好不容易变回一个人的时候，我遇见了另一个人。
现在我+那个人成了两个人。
不过他不在我身边的时候又好像是一个人。好无聊！
希望以后的日子都是两个人，幸福的，快乐的。

希望大家都能遇见另一个人，过着快乐幸福的日子。

Regret

2008-06-03T15:31:00.003+08:00

Have you did something you have regretted?
I did!
I was too emotional and too loose last week that i told my ex-boss that i am not happy with current working condition.
I told him that i was freaking unhappy with my increment and told him those unhappy stuffs with my leader.

I always tell myself to control myself and do not let him know this time.
In fact, i spoke it out emotionally!

I've been here for more than 3 yrs and within this 3 yrs, my ex boss is like a friend to me. We shared a lot of feeling and i told him things happened to me like he is my confidant! For so long, he never betray my trust and i believe him.

Last time, when i told him about problem occurred between me and my trainee, he talked this matter to other managers and finally he helped me out. Frankly speaking, whenever i talk to him, i expect understanding and don't expect he can help me out. But i know even though he told my problem to others, he was just trying to help. So i don't blame him.

After this incident, i told myself.. although he is my ex-boss, but he is still a manager of my company. He stands with the company. So, i shouldn't tell my problem to him anymore. But last week, when i was having a conversation with him, i exposed my feeling to him and unintentionally spoke out the problem i faced now and my decision to resign.

He tried to understand why i have such a decision and to pursuade me. But i didn't give a chance. Because i have decided and i hope nothing to pull me back.

Now, i am really regret. Regret with my uncontrollable emotion and attitude. I should not tell him. Not only him, i should not even tell anyone in this company i wish to resign. I should plan it secretly and leave with pride.

My Dream Car

2008-06-02T15:48:00.005+08:00

Do you own a car?

I think i had promised one of my best friend to post photo of my lovely car here, but... think that it is just a very common and cheap car, so dare not post it here.

Anyway, it's really a lovely car for me, very oil saving, great to drive and...lots more! You must be wondering, what car is that! It's a Kelisa in metalic red-orange. So, i named it "Oren-Gee".

Yup "Oren-Gee" is no doubt a small car, infact, i like big car. Not those types of big car that in your head now. In actual, i like Family car or four wheel drive type of car.

Guess what is my dream car? Do you have dream car?? Sometime we mentioned "Dream Car"..Dream car.dream car, car we can only owned in dream..hahaha.. So my dream car is...

Yeap!!! Nissan Murano!!! I love it so much.. I am not someone who are smart in car, so don't expect me to tell you what's the advantage of this car. i am just having first sight love with the car. Hehe...

So, whenever i saw a Murano on road, i will always tell my bf, how much i want to have that.. this and that!!! cannot stop talking..So wish to have that..really! I always have fantasy that i will win this car through lucky draw or lottery..(although i don't buy lottery nor have any luck in lucky draw)

Lately, Perodua launched it's newest CRV type of car named Perodua Nautica. It's a family type of car or a successor model of Perodua Kembara or Kenari.. When i received Citibank leaflet that i can have 12 months of 0% installment to pay for downpayment, i happily called to my bf who are now at outstation that i want to change car! I was happy, because these type of car normally more than RM100K. Not to mention that Nissan Murano costs RM300K ++. So i thought i will be willing to purchase this Perodua Nautica since it is a national car.

Next days, i went to office and checked in internet. Oppss. Rm99K on road price. So...so..cheap>? No no!! I expect lower, because it is a Perodua. Anyway, it is just a little bit bigger than Myvi and Myvi is just around RM55K, so paying extra RM44K for a Perodua Nautica don't seems to be worth. So, just forget about it!!!!

Updated News: Watches

2008-05-28T15:29:00.003+08:00

Updated news:

I just get found this CASIO Baby G series watches from the net. Looks nice, but i don't like digital watches. It looks like....ermmm how to say?? I can't fully trust those electrical stuff inside.. Prefer mechanism..Analog watches.
These are combination of analog and digital..hehe i like it.. but it seems like something lacking here. Is it not enough striking? might be...like too plain huh? Looking back with all watches i have..found out that most of my watches are so plain, this time gonna be something sharp!

Watches

2008-05-28T08:42:00.005+08:00

Lately, i am thinking to buy a new watch. hehehe, you must be wondering what type of watch i want.

Errmm... Actually, i already have both casual and formal type of watch. But...i think they are not "chio". I want something big and "chio".... Haii.. ppl have different thinking at different stage of life. When i was in primary school, my mom decide what type of watch i wear. In secondary school, i want something funky! At colleage, i want something affordable. Initial stage of working life..i want something elegant and formal. Now...hehehe...i want to be "Chio"

Anyway, i haven't found my "chio" watch yet...perhaps is not i couldn't find, but i have high expectation, searching for something which cannot be too cheap looking, outstanding, long lasting and brand!! I found one at SWATCH, but.. i already have 2 SWATCH, so thinking to try some other brand, anyway...paying RM500 for a SWATCH don't seems to be worth.

You must be thinking, why my taste so funny, it's a man watch right? haha... Yup, but it's a unisex watch... That's consider "Chio" for a lady to wear men looking watch! kaka... i like the mechanism but...

Yesterday, i found few good looking watches that match my requirement of "chio" in the internet, not too cheap style, and branded! But... i'm not sure of the price of the watches, so still have to do some survey at the shop first.

Guess what is the brand? It's from FOSSIL. Quite special, with the combination of analog and digital. Hehe..what do you think?

Besides, my friend also helping me to search at Hong Kong, and he found something quite special. I don't like the rubber feel. However, the design is quite special but this type of design might not be everlast. So...don't want to buy..

I also found this special type of design in internet. The brand is NOOKA. Quite nice huh? But it's just selling at the North America region and even you can purchase online, but they don't ship to Malaysia. So, forget about it. Anyway, i think this style will get outdated soon.

Btw, any good recommendation from you? Please be reminded, i want something Chio...and nice...trendy but cannot easily outdated.

爱情塔羅牌

2008-05-16T10:04:00.003+08:00

刚才好玩，在facebook加了个爱情塔羅牌的application. 占卜了之后竟然有这样的结果。好恐怖啊！。

死神 - 終止 (逆位)
塔羅牌義
死神是一個結束、終止，但已代表著另一段的生命。在基督教來說，耶穌是經死亡才得永生。在佛教來說，人死後會投胎，也就是說，若是樂觀，「死亡」不可怕。因此只在於占卜者及問卜者的心態。有人因抽中這一牌而去自殺，那是大錯特錯。他不只是代表死亡，也代表舊去新來的改變（可能變得更好）。而且未來是可以改變的。

愛情運勢
你現在不願意接受分手的事實，不肯放手，害怕這個改變。你為了抗拒這個改變，可能會採取一些激進的方式。但是這樣會傷害到一些人，建議三思而後行。即使離開了他，太陽照樣每天東升西落，不要想不開，要冷靜。

好端端的，为什么分手啊？真是不准啊！。

Funny Experiment.

2008-05-15T08:17:00.004+08:00

Just wanna share with my best friends here an experience i had made on my new boss. haha..so funny.

If you still remember, i think i said that she is very emotional and small hearted.
Anyway, that's is just my perception! It cannot be proved with any case supported.

So, i made a quick test on her during the past meeting.
As i mentioned before, our group will have a weekly meeting and in the weekly meeting, one of us will have to share our experience on our job. This week, there's no exception, still there is someone who are doing the sharing.

Right after the sharing when someone commented on who is the project leader, the presenter said sorry i do not know who. So in very quick response, my new boss replied.. XXX is the project leader. haha. i found a good opportunity and i said NO. YYY is the project leader. This year is unlike previous year, YYY is the project leader this year.

Hehe..i observed her facial expression so carefully and i see her face slowly turn into dark.. Great! Experiment one succeeded! Anyway, with expectation, i was waiting for the second outcome, ok i expected more! hehe

In about 10 mins, the result came out! She commented that she likes the way of presentation and the pronunciation, the grammar she used and how she carried the presentation. She also said "unlike last week presenter (me me!! i am the last week presenter), i think i like this!" Hahaha..... so excited, i nearly laughed out loudly! Wow.. i think her high blood pressure increased again!

Anyway, what do you think? I am so happy, until today! Because i can predict what she gonna do! But my bf commented that i should not do this experiement since i already know she is "small hearted". I might have tough day under her, but i think i am just entertaininig myself here so that i can work happily to be under her. haha...Yeah...give me five! Whatever! Nobody cares!

导盲犬小Q

2008-05-14T13:24:00.004+08:00

请问有人看过{导盲犬小Q}的戏吗？

听所很感动。不过，我的目的只是想看狗狗而已。

呵呵，如果你有这部戏或是看过这部戏，可以分享吗？

听说是韩国片。。。主角(狗狗)蛮可爱的啦！

应该是黄金猎犬吧！

Cute sharing + my inner voice

2008-05-12T15:26:00.012+08:00

Accidentally found this from one of the blog in google when i was searching "evil dog" this morning. You can go to this blog, there are more cute doggy in great words, just click here.
I quoted few which i felt it's very close to my feeling lately and added with my own words.

Yup, Happiness comes from self. It's decided by our own self, if we wanted to be happy, we will be happy. I mean we can actually choose our reaction, whether we wanted to be normal, happy or angry because of something happened. Anyway, there's related to personal emotional intelligence. I am not positive thinking person, so i always make myself upset and sensitive!

Hehe...jealousy is also my problem! Sometime really broke my head because of jealousy! haha not that serious. In fact, i think my current bf plays very good role in this part, to reduce my jealousy!

Err..hope our relationship is not going to be short one. Hope can be everlasting, although i understand that there is no such thing called everlast!

We been aparted for a week. hehe Yup, just a week. Not too long, but to me.. this time is difference. I feel differently for the feeling of waiting. Waiting days to pass and waiting for your return. Now, i just wait for the night to come sooner, to hear your voice.

Haha..your love bright up my life, it becomes more colorful with you. But without you, i want it to be brighter because... i just wanna prove to myself that..with you, my life are so great, but even without you, my life is still good.

This is great, ya! Sometime i care too much on those i can't control. Got to learn to let go and let things go naturally!

Hehe..i love the doggy, looks so cute and cool! Hope you like it too!

Looking productive at working space

2008-05-12T14:13:00.005+08:00

You’re not lazy, really! It’s just that there are some days when you’re sick of staring your computer screen and are unable to churn anything out. We show you how to look like you’re hard at work when your mind is taking vacation.

Declutter, declutter
This is a far better option than staring at a blank document onscreen, and actually quite a productive activity to do while being unproductive. Not only will you get rid of the living ecosystem that has come into existence under that pile sitting on your desk for the past six months, it will also give your boss the impression that you’re an organized person when she walks by and sees you hard at work, clearing your desk

Reverse prioritizing
There’s always something to do at the office, from processing important files down to menial tasks like making coffee. While you’d usually start with the most important and brain-draining tasks at hand, sometimes the perfect thing to do if you just want to switch off and space out for a little while – without looking like you’re slacking off - is to file your claims and make your own coffee instead of getting that poor intern to do it.

Surf Smart
If the office snitch is around, make sure your screen isn’t parked on a site like Facebook. However, if you really can’t resist – and we understand that it can be hard – make sure it’s minimized on your screen. For good measure, always be sure to have work – related browser windows open, so you can switch between them quickly by pressing the Alt and Tab keys at the same time. You definitely don’t want a tap on your shoulder or have pointed glances thrown your way from your boss. Always be aware of your surroundings!

Come into the office earlier than your boss, or stay back later than he or she does
Putting in extra time at the office is a surefire way of making everyone think you’re hardworking and productive. In fact, you might just really be more productive when there are less people around. But avoid falling into the martyr-trap by whining to your colleagues about having to work so hard – you don’t want to piss people off.

P.s:\\ Quoted this article from Cleo magazine, felt it is quite useful to our working life. hehe. Sometime we must learn to be fake!

Zodiac Sex

2008-05-09T08:40:00.002+08:00

Read this from a link, feel it might be suitable to share it with one of my best friend.
Hehe.. yaya, it's you!

Great sex is an integral part of any good relationship. But it's not always easy to keep things hot - especially in long-term affairs. Indeed, fanning the flames requires effort, openness and imagination. And what better way to do it then to incorporate a little child's play? Well, adult play, really.

On that note, whether you're in the first throes of passion or you've been together for years, if you're looking to liven up your boudoir (or open a few new doors with your partner), a little game play might be the answer. Lucky for you, the stars can help you determine how to create a win-win situation between the sheets!

Here is your guide to sex games - by sign!

Taurus is the food lover of the zodiac - as well as one of its most sensual lovers. So it follows that to add some play to your sex life, you'd be well-served with a bull to combine their two loves into a lover's food game. Edible additions are always welcome in the bedroom with Taurus - or anywhere else that you deign to do it. Choose the spreadable, smearable sort, put it on yourself and let Taurus blaze the treasure trail. Chart their territory wisely and they won't be the only one in for a different kind of dessert!

For Gemini, mind games are the primary tool of seduction. The focus here is on foreplay. One surefire way to set their libido a light is to indulge in role play - in fact, turning fantasy into reality (teacher/student or doctor/nurse) will be a guaranteed twin-pleaser. For added excitement try meeting in a bar and pretending to be strangers… before giving it a go in the bathroom… then leaving as if you're not going home together.

Cancer is sensitive - and sensual by nature. They're also submissive. Tie your crab up and spend hours lavishing them with attention (feathers, ticklers, oils - you name it), and you'll have cracked their shell for good. Make it your point to break their orgasm record… Then don't untie them until you're both repeatedly satisfied.

Leo is known for loving the spotlight - in bed and beyond. As such, Lions tend toward victim fantasies - victim of the voyeur that is! In other words, put the lion in the spotlight (doing anything and everything you choose) and you'll likely score points. Tell your Leo you want to watch them act out your fantasy - that they're on stage for only you (or the world) to see… their voracity may surprise you. Conversely, you could also try a little switch. Ask your Leo to watch you… they may find the role change refreshing.

Virgo may come off as serious, but keep in mind that their penchant is for neatness, not chasteness! Indeed, a little kink goes a long way with the Virgin. So don your leather gloves or any fetish gear that seems apropos (leather, latex and the like go over well here) to show them a taste of heaven… along with a little discipline… After all, no one is perfect, and they might need to be punished!

Libra is known to be fickle, and as such you want to keep them excited. The balanced ones will enjoy any sexual adventure that centers around location. Join the mile-high club, feel each other up in a taxi. Whatever, wherever can be your new creed - as long as it's festive and fun. To make a game of it, create a point system for initiating sex based on the risk factor of your location. Then set a time frame and see who wins.

Scorpio is the zodiac's siren. As such, even the most seemingly sensible stinger is open to sexual exploration - blindfolds or sex toys, anyone? So long as they're assured that you're under their spell. If you really want to blow a Scorpion's mind, make a list of questions about your desires and give them a personal erotic mystery to unravel. As they answer each question (correctly of course), remove an item of clothing… to reveal either an elaborate ensemble or intense arousal.

Sagittarius is a take-charge type, but adventure is always the name the game, which means switching things up on occasion. So, to set your Sag's blood to boil, remove them from the driver's seat for a second. Sit them down, restrain them if necessary and tease them, with a strip-tease, perhaps. The game, of course, will be seeing how long they can hold themselves back before they re-claim control and ravage you. Play your game outdoors for an added bonus!

Hardworking Capricorn is known for focus… Why not take that focus and hardwork to the bedroom? Try watching a little erotica to get warmed up, then delve into making your own! Just remember, the goat will most likely want to play the director… and make you the star. But once you have their attention, there's no limit to the heights they can scale.

Eccentric Aquarius requires a complex game to stay interested - sexually speaking. Feeling free whilst simultaneously entwined will do a lot for the Water Bearer. As such, if swinging is too far out for you (it probably won't be for Aquarius), pick a park to give some passers by a peep show. But of course, you'll have to pretend you don't want them to notice. Shy types fear not, it needn't be sex - a make out will do. For added points, keep track of the places you've displayed public affection… maybe even make a map!

Pisces is accustomed to being a pushover. But if you put Pisces in the power position, you'll uncover a whole new side to the fish - one that will make you submit to their whims! Ask to be dominated - to whatever level you're comfortable (bondage and spanking optional) and watch Pisces rise to the occasion. If it's near water, all the better!

Aries is not adverse to anything athletic that allows them to dominate. In fact, to please the Ram you'll want to make them work. A game of chase around the house… or hotel… or outdoor area of your choosing (with seductive stops intermittently, or a flash to give them a taste of what they're chasing) will do wonders. Just be sure to wriggle away and keep running, until neither of you can continue the chase!

So, how is it? i also not sure will this help, anyway just read it as fun!

Lotus

2008-05-09T08:08:00.004+08:00

After view my blog, fount out that my blog is a little bit too plain and full of words.

So, to make my blog looks more visualize, share with you this lotus.

I took this picture with my hp. I think this lotus looks so beautiful in pure white with a little bit of yellow in the middle. Looks so elegant. Anyway, my mom planted this. nice huh?

This is another type of lotus. It's small but i like the purple color! hehe

No big deal! Stay happy!

2008-05-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

Opps.. surprisingly today I am having a good patient.
Lately, I was in a very low mood and felt so hard to continue working in current condition.

Fortunately, I gave myself a break yesterday. I went back home early before 6pm (I normally went back at 8pm).
I was actually having a long ride yesterday because of the traffic condition.
When I sat in the car, I started to think about my future, my experiences and my feeling on all those things that happened lately.
It was so painful to me and it was like, why all these things happened to me.
Disappointment filled me up!

But when I was passing through the fly over, there’s something flown into my mind.
Some voices that it sounds so familiar to me.
Yup, I remembered someone told me something!
I had experienced so many bad things here in this company.

Case 1: Scolded by a manager from other department.
Why this idiot scolded me? It was so innocent where one of boss here instructed me to move his laptop to other table and when the manager can’t find his laptop on that table; I was the one who get burned! Do you know the reaction of the boss? He sat there as it was nothing happen and did not help me out when I was scolded by that idiot.

Case 2: Threaten by a senior manager from other department TOO!!
This case goes this way. I was handling a project somewhere 1 year back. It was an office relocation project where many departments involved.
As you know, after we made our plan, get vendor, sourced quotation, we need to have an approval from several departments.
This document should be prepared by department A, checked by my department and approved by department B and of course to the top management.
So before we gone through all these process, this project has to be approved by the directors in the director’s meeting.
In the meeting, my division head explained the urgency of the project (due to close budget) and need their help to sign it fast.
So this “senior manager” said, well.. if you able to complete all this project, then I sign! Immediately, my division head called me from the meeting room and requested me to proceed and anyhow complete it by today. Because of this urgent request, I walked from this department to that department, getting quotation from the procurement (not to mention I have been scolded until cry by the procurement officer) and brought the quotation to the maintenance department to prepare the documentation. After that get approval from their division head, hand carried back to my department, did all the documentation from my side, approved by my boss, then rushed to Finance department get the finance big boss to sign it. My last step was to get the “senior” manager signature. At that moment it was 530pm and I don’t care what he was doing at the moment and I knocked and walked into the conference room and asked him to sign it. You know what he did? He said, sorry I am not going to sign it! I asked him why? He said because I don’t want to. I was so surprised he spoke like this. I explained to him on how urgency is this and I have to get it done by today. He said no, I wont sign it today.

Well, I walked back to my office and told my boss. The next morning, when my division head (the Japanese) complained to the higher management about this issue, the “senior manager” claimed that I brought back the document and that’s the reason he did not sign on it. How crap is him??!! He blamed me now. Anyway, I explained to my boss and my boss settled it, so I thought that’s it. Guess what happened next? The next time when I went to his office, he was talking to somebody (a boss from procurement). Guess what he said when he saw me? He said: “This girl ah, don’t be surprise if her car 4 tyres flatten by someone”. What do you think? This crap spoke like “samseng”. He is a senior manager, and I am just nothing, why should he spoke that way? Unbelievable huh? Anyway, this is what I experienced here!

Fine, there are still many cases out there, anyway I am so lazy to mention here now. (just came back from rework, quite tired!)
Anyway, what I wanna say here is, I had gone through so many things and sometimes when I really turn back to see, whatever happened now is just a small case!
Don’t have to be so upset. I should face it normally, don’t let it influence my life and my emotion.
Always stay happy and appreciate whatever I have right now!

My New Boss

2008-05-03T11:05:00.002+08:00

May I know the gender of your direct superior? Do you prefer your boss to be a man or women? What is your personal thinking about this? Any comment?

Since I graduated from university, I joined this company. It’s about three years’ time.
All the while I was supervised by male boss. Yes, although my boss has been changed for few times, but still man.
Lately, I had another organization change and again I have a new department head. This time, she is a lady!
Well, I don’t pretty much choosy in this, whatever he/she is, the most important is he/she is a good leader and understanding.
That’s pretty enough!

I remembered once, when I had a supper session with a group of friends and one of the guy said “I don’t like female boss”, because they are emotional!
At the moment, I was like “Ish..you are such a macho man that look down to the female”. (I didn’t speak it out, just have this feeling) Anyway, I don’t think that all female = emotional!
There’s still someone with high EQ out there, although I admit that I am the emotional one! :p

Ok, back to the new boss.
So, after she became our department head (previously was leader of the group), she started to implement her revolution plan.
She started to instruct us to do this and that.
You will often hear something like “I think this is better”, “I think you should do that”, “Please do this and that”.
I did not say that giving instruction is a problem. Yes, you are the leader, assigning job is right but you have to take care of the feeling of your staff.
Is not that you are the boss and you can ask us do whatever you want. You are just ruining your team.
Anyway, this is very general, perhaps all boss did this.. even the male!

Tell you something happen to me.
As per my previous post, you should know that I am currently training someone who is very slow and with bad attitude.
Of course, training her isn’t my wish or my boss’s wish. But when I complained to you about this matter, you said “please call a meeting and we shall highlight this to the top management”.
With hope, I called a meeting with the wish that I able to terminate this training. In the meeting, when I voiced out to the top management, you sat there quietly!
You did not support me. Why? You are the one who asked me to call a meeting and yet you kept quiet in the meeting.
Fine, I thought you have your thinking! But finally I get to know that the reason you did this is because you are just promoted to department head and you don’t want this matter to have any affection to your position.
I felt so disappointed with that! Really disappointed!

The story is not end when you promised my trainee that you will give her another 1 month probation period. Ok. Another instruction for me, I accepted it. I thought that’s just a month. I started to re-train her again.
But you know what happened later? She wrote a very long email to the top management complained on my trainee about ability, attitude and proficiency in language. I cannot believe that when she told me about this. I asked her why you are doing that as you already promised her for the one month. She said she is having high blood pressure and this matter is quite a headache for her. She wants a stop for this!
My feeling is like OMG! You are doing a judgment because you had high blood pressure because of this problem? I felt so surprise of the reason she gave me. But, I think this is solely caused by emotional!

Besides, I also don’t think she knows how to assign job. Every week, we will have a meeting where we share our experience on what we had done and she will assign when your turn is.
So, there’s once (few weeks back) she said next is my turn. So, I said no, I am busy lately. So she said ok, then she will present.
Following week, she said “next week your turn”. I was like ok, no choice, I already rejected once right. So I said ok. (With unhappy voice)
Infact, I am much busier compared to the previous week. Reason are I have few jobs on hand which have deadlines to commit. Moreover, I need to go business trip for vendor discussion.
She knew all of it, because she has all my cc copy of email and we will go for business trip together.
Yet, she wants me to present. Is not that I want to escape from presentation, but the matter here is I am damn so busy and yet you want to add my work load.
Is not like I can present without presentation material, I need time to prepare the material too.
Things gone bad when I suffered food poisoning on Thursday, I was on MC for Thursday and Friday of the week. Next Monday I have to go business trip in outstation and Tuesday morning is the presentation.
On that moment, I felt so bad about this, I do not have time to do my job (there’s deadline to commit), and I still haven’t do the presentation slide.
I was too weak to go back to office on Saturday because I was still vomiting after food and finally I forced myself to back to office on Sunday for the presentation material.
During our flight to vendor, I told her I went back to office on Sunday for the presentation material and I haven’t finish prepare it. Her reaction was “oic”.

I was so pissed off at that moment, you knew that I had food poisoning and I had business trip, then next morning is the day. You should ask me whether I can make it or not, whether I need schedule delay. But no, your reaction is “oic”. What a pathetic!!
The next day, I tried so hard to complete it in time and presented it in time. But I was so frustrated, of course also because of the salary issue added on.
I admit that I shown face to her. But I am so pissed off when she asked me when I can submit draft to vendor. My anger shoot up and I said “not free”!
Come on, I was on MC for last Thursday and Friday, OT on Sunday just for the presentation slide and business trip on Monday and presentation on Tuesday morning. Just right after the meeting, you asked me about the draft, what the heck! You think I am superwoman who can present and on the same time doing other job somewhere else? Silly you!

Because of all these added on, I am so unhappy with her, especially I was not promoted and have such a low increment. I gave her a double black face. I did not talk to her and ignore her (she is sitting in front of me). Really no mood or desire to talk to her, not even want to have lunch together with her.
Well, what will you do if you are boss? You knew that your staff is not happy or disappointed for the promotion and increment issue, what will you do?
Should you take care of your staff’s feeling or you just ignore it or what will you probably do?
Guess what she did? Haha.. She shows me triple back face (I show her double). Why I said so? Because she also shown her face to us! She was not doing anything! At least you come to understand our feeling! I know, I know you cannot do anything for this problem, but at least you show you’re care of our feeling. But no!!! She has shown her face to us. She don’t speak to us (me and my neighbour – who are very unhappy about this promotion and increment). Really felt so disappointed for this. Well, no one care to break the ice.

Yesterday, after few days thinking, I finally decided to break the ice with her, thinking to find way to resolve this. But what she did was like, you do 1, I do 15 (你做初一，我做十五). In the meeting room, she told me she has something to discuss with me regarding my job. Issh, if you have anything you wanted to talk to me, why should you announce it in front of all. You can always talk to me; I am just sitting in front of you! How silly is it?

Anyway, all these only proven one thing, there’s no more reason for me to stay and work for her! There's no future her!

Unexpected pay rate!

2008-05-03T10:42:00.003+08:00

Are you satisfy with your current pay??? Is your pay over or under your expectation?? Have you ever think of this matter?

Few days back, i get my pay slip. April is a month that everyone waiting for, because this is a month for bonus , and also our promotion or increment month. If you are not promoted in this April, then sorry please wait for next April... This is the rule.

So, after working for 3 years in this bloody company, i was not promoted this time. That's mean, i have to wait for another year to be promoted...ermm..provided i will be promoted next year!

Yes..i expected promotion. Did i tell you that my former boss want to convert me into Engineer position?? Yes, he did said that. But now i have new boss, so i expected my engineer position is impossible for me. Because of this, i thought that they will promote me to senior officer..But NO!!! They did not.

I do not know why! I am working in this company for 3 years... 3 years and i am still an officer. If i am someone who are not perform or has bad performance, fine!!! But no.. you knew that i can work and you assigned me to take up a new department..but yet i was not promoted! I cannot accept this...I cannot!

Feeeling so disappointed with this company.. What for you work so much and pay so much of effort to this company and yet they do not appreciate your hardwork. Well, if you really cannot convert to engineer, then promote me. If you really cannot promote me, then please give me more increment. But shit..don't mention about the bloody increment! It's sucks!!!!! Damn sucks!!
I feel so curious about the management of this company, don't they know that promoting their staff or giving higher increment or incentives is a best way to retain talent of the company??? No..i think they don't know, if they know they will not give such a low increment. Perhaps they want to save the money for retrenchment.. By doing so, they can make us resign by ourselves. Great, then resign!!!

Finally i decided...

2008-04-07T15:08:00.002+08:00

Congratulate to me..
It's not that i win any award or i want to get married...
But i decided to get myself a new job.

I am not sure when i will make my 1st move, but....anyway.. i had decided!

Recently, i'm so demotivated to work. I am so disappointed with the system of this company.
I was thinking, can i see my future here for continuing service in this company?
Yes, maybe i can become an assistant manager or manager somehow one day later, but what else can i be? Can i make it a difference?

Last week, i attended a meeting. After i stepped out from the meeting room, i know this isn't the place i want to be. Yes, everywhere is the same. But at least the pay make it different! I am getting a low pay but working in a heavy load, i am tired! What i am asking is not to add my burden by requesting me to do something that will finally waste my time and energy. But what i could see is i'm fighting on my own and finally be a silly joker.

I am fed up! Enough, what for am i earning so less and working for this! As well i am going to a higher pay place and get more money...

Anyway, i had decided and my family support me. This time, i hope i can make my move as soon as possible.

Good luck to you, joy!

My wish dashed

2008-04-04T08:46:00.003+08:00

I did not remember if i did blog about my boss promise to convert me to an engineer position.
Forget it.. let me start again with the story.

There's once (can't remember the actual month, but about few months back) my "boss" told me that he had an intention to convert my position from officer to engineer. The reason was i am working on more technical related job like mechanical job and electrical job such as reading and checking schematic as well as pcb board.

The first reaction i heard about that was a shocked followed with a doubt. I asked him if he really able to do that since i was a business background person, he said no problem as he did it for his previous staff before. Anyway he had a requirement, whereby i need to pick up my technical know how as soon as i can, else it's hard for him to convert me. Fair enough, i agreed.

So, with all the strong desire to be an engineer and passion on my new hope... i am so enthusiast to learn as much as i can. Whenever i came across with all the unknown question, i will make sure i digged out the answer and i can understand it well. From how to see mechanical part, check mechanical part until how to operate mechanical 3D software, from how to read the schematic, PWB layout, understanding the IC, learn the function of the part, until able to check whether they did it correct or wrong... i learned it on my own. From know nothing until something... I doesn't mean that i am good in this, but at least from zero i gained something. Maybe it is all done in short time but i really pay a lot of effor on it and i admit that i expect some return.. i want to be an engineer.

Anyway, my dream start to crack when i knew that my 'boss' who promised to convert me into engineer no longer be my department head. Now, there's a new department head for my group. She knows very less about my job and the most important is she is a business background person as well. I knew that there's a impossible case for her to convert me, because she never gone through my progress, do not know that i am dealing with so much of engineering stuff..

..... disappointment + upset + demotivated + dream blow off.

My current feeling

2008-04-02T09:02:00.002+08:00

My feeling now is very much like this dog.

Anyway you can try interprete my feeling by looking at this dog.

It's now my wallpaper for my PC.

Super match my feeling now!!!

Dried out patient

2008-04-02T08:01:00.002+08:00

It's really long time for my last update in this blog. Lately, i am so busy with my job and working for others as well as training someone who is very hard to be trained.

Anyway, almost all the job has been completed, what's left is just to train up my subordinate who might work with me continously. Why did i said "might", it's a uncertain term huh!? Actually she is someone who was given up by other group and thrown to me. Frankly speaking i do not want her to be with me, because i know she will drag my progress and make me into trouble. But because of some "top dog" insistent, i do not even have a chance to say No.

Training someone to do certain job isn't easy, moreover she is a bad performer. Even if we do not mention her as a bad performer, she is someone who are unreliable, non-initiative, bad understanding, forgetful and low self esteem. To be frank, i really faced huge difficulties and challengeable to train someone like her, really fed up and not motivated to train her anymore!!!

Speaking the truth, yes from the initial i do not want her to join me, because of impression on her, everyone who deal with her has bad impression about her. I received a lot of bad comment from others. No one even mention about her good point. Anyhow, no matter how much my dislike, i do not have an option but to start train her and assign job to her!

I used 1 week to train her on basic understanding of the job, explained to her on job scope as well as responsibility until officially assigned her to be a PIC of a model. At that moment, she supposed to work hard in order to complete her job within given dead line. But she used most of the time doing nothing until last minute told me she couldn't submit draft out to vendor. See, that's unreliable and irresponsible! Fine, anyhow i already expected that.

Worst come to worst when my boss triggered her in the meeting, asked her to explain why she did that last minute job! Then she said she don't understand her job well and thought that we were just given her training instead of assigned her a job. See...she starts to push away her responsibility and pretending to be innocent! Well, i kept quiet. My boss asked her again, whether she don't know how to do was purely because she don't understand or she did not received training, then she said yes, she did not received training. Again..she blame other (me). Anyway, boss knew that she lied because everyone knew that i trained her!

Well, i still have my overflown patient. I talked to her personally after the meeting and asked her to appreciate the one last chance. I promise to re-train her and requested her cooperation to voice out if she had anything which she don't understand. So i re-trained her even though i was in peak season of rushing my job. To make her understand the 1st page and our job responsiblity, i used up half day... My patient was cut to half at that moment. Finally she told me she knows everything of the 1st page. Following day when i gave her a review as an excercise, she failed to do it. She used about 90 mins to complete the 1st page (super simple job - estimated 10 mins to complete by me). Fine, let's just don't forget about the duration of completion, but the quality is suck! She get almost everything wrong! Again, i explained to her again and she claimed that she fully understand now! Again, i gave her another 4 review, and she only get 1 correct! (See.. still in the 1st page)...

My patient dried out. I asked her if she really like the job and she said yes she is initiative. God Damn initiative... If you are initiative you won't act like want me to spoonfeed you! I am not going to do that!! Come on, i really do not know how to put my 2nd step out. I do not know how should i train her! Just for the 1st page took me a week and some more she is still doing some error which she think that's just a god damn "careless mistake". Careless mistake kills!!! We are not allowed to have careless mistake, moreover you are given so many chance to make it right! Pissed off!!!!

Anyway, i tried to highligt this issue to the top and requesting for the instruction to stop training her. But the "top dog" asked me to give her one last chance! Duration of "last chance" are 2 months. I am so so disappointed to the management. Come on...this person is not only couldn't help me but dragging my progress. She is my burden! I have to work on both of our job and i still have to spend time on training her. Training her is damn so hard for me...not to mention that i always get backstabbed by her that i did not given her a proper training and i am so damn high expectation. I tell you, i already have a super low expectation on her where i let her to complete the shit 1st page for more than 1 hour without scolding her..i just wish that she could tell me when she don't understand or having any trouble but not sitting there doing nothing until i approached her.

Story about her can make me talk whole day. Better stop now. Really fed up and now really scatching my head on how to proceed for 2nd step. Today i expected more backstab things to me..because today the 'top dog' is going to talk to her. Good Luck Joy...

Golden Opportunity

2008-02-19T11:50:00.004+08:00

Reading a lots of fortune reader that this year, my luck is going to be moderate..
Well, i think i am still consider lucky. keke... Of coz, i hope i always lucky!

Yesterday, i get a golden opportunity. I have been nominated by my sector head to participate in this year President's Award. My Goodness. Having this opportunity isn't easy, because you can only be contestant if you get nomination from the sector head or directors.

Actually, i am holding a project now, as i had setup a new department in my division and it has been a succees story after i have completed my 1st model. Yippy!~~
But to win this contest, isn't that easy also, since there are a lot of outstanding projects here. Anyway, i am glad i have the chance to join in and compete, at least i still stand some chances to win right?

Err.. the prize is so attractive! Cash money.. :P Consolation got RM1000 and 2nd runner up is RM3000, 1st Runner up RM6000 and MD award is RM10K. So amazing huh! Yeah!!! Ganbatte Kudasai!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Info updated

* 20.02.08 Outline submitted to div head
* 22.02.08 Outline been selected to represent sector to join MD award.
hehe..promoted from president award to MD award.
Have to submit presentation material before next monday. *rolled eyes*

Happy Valentine Day

2008-02-14T10:14:00.002+08:00

Happy valentine day to all lovers and to those single... wish you could find a realible partner soon.

This year, without much different, i have to pass the day myself.. ermm..nope! many people will accompany me, because i have to work..and of course after work, still a lot of things to be done because tonight we will have to pray, and thanks god..tomorrow i on leave! yeah!!!~~

Today wake up with a very delightful mood. Thinking of what to wear.. hehe even though you are not with me, i hope you could be. So, i think of wearing the cloth you bought for me, but after that i put back and wear another. Thinking of how to make me feel you with me.. hehe.. i put on the channel chance that you bought for me. So so nice taste! kekeke... Feeling so romantic with the taste and of course.. feeling you surrounding me..

Happy valentine!

New Year Wishes

2008-02-11T18:23:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year and Gong Xi Fa Cai.
Wishing everybody have a great new year and all your dreams and wishes may come true.

Have you made your wish for year 2008?
Actually i have some thinking...or to be accurate.. i have some wishes or goal to be achieved.
It has been some time that i never even plan for my future, because i always think that even though you have a well-planned planning, things are just so unpredictable.

But this year, i gonna make it a little bit different, because i plan something! Well, anyway it shouldn't be too difficult to achieve it. hehe..Reasonable one!
Well, i have categorized it into 2 category, phsycially and mentally! yeah!

For physically, i wish i could be more beautiful. Lately, i found out that i did not really dress up myself, all clothes i bought is jeans and t-shirt. I seldom wear dresses and i don't even comb my hair properly. I become so "auntie"... Last time, at least i know when i go out with friends, i should wear dress or wear nicely with high heel shoes and handbag. Now with a normal sandals and big shopping bag or sling back with shorts and t-shirts, i can go everywhere! Actually, i guess i have adapted to my life where no guys is going to date me and i don't have to dating with other guys anymore! Serious right? OK. I think this is very serious..So, i gonna change my outer apperance. I don't want to be so "auntie" anymore, i have to dress up myself, make myself look amazing, look pretty and of course confident and most importantly keep slim. haha... that's my major goal this year.

Anyway, realized that i am always sticky to my bf like he is my world really makes me sick! So, i gonna make more friends and have more own activity instead of waiting him to bring me shopping, climbing or anything! So how? I think about it and i have decided to join some after work activity like dancing class or yoga.. Hope from joining this, can keep me slim and make some friends. Of course, i understand that lately those dancing class and yoga class is full of "auntie".. haii~~~ Btw, to make more friends, it is not easy actually! Mostly, people can get friend through working environment..so, i also wanna try to make more friends here! :P

Well.. besides that, what else? hmm... oh ya! i wanna take a series of photo. See.. i have stepped into 25 now and i have yet to have an album of mine. I wanna have that! OK. Have to search for quotation and good skill photo studio. Not to worry, if i happen to have that, i will show it to you ya!

Ok...oh ya, travelling! Last year, it's been my 1st time to visit Japan or i should say...foreign country! Yup.. 1st time, you are right! So..this year, i also want to go travel. No matter it is a business trip or personal trip, i wish i have a chance! Me and my bf have talked about visiting S'pore in coming June or July, but...life is unpredictable, right? so, just waiting forward! Else, would you like to go with me? keke...

Mentally, i seriously think that i should be more mature.. of coz not mature like "auntie".. Mature and think wisely and do everything without have to regret lo! O.O... keke. Of coz emotional also playing a big role here. My major problem is i am very hot tempered person, i easily get angry or sad.. I mean i have a problem that mood swing easily! So..this is what i should improve as well. EQ up up ! Cup also up up! @v@ haha...

So, that's mine and how's yours?
Share with me ya! Happy New Year

Boring Day!

2008-02-04T14:40:00.001+08:00

Today is the 1st day of the CNY 2008. In chinese we called it "立春".
Someone said, it is a very important day, it foreseen your luck of the year.

I gonna say today is a moderate day for me, nothing good happen, and nothing bad happen too! So, still consider good right? ermm..anyway, still cannot say, because now is just about 3pm.
Anyway, early in this morning, i wake up with a happy mood expecting my bf coming back from somewhere.

Came in to work and found out i forgot to bring my locker's key. I think, NVM! hehe.. Since today is the 1st day of CNy, i gonna wear my new working shoe, but it seems like a little bit tight for me, and it makes me pain when i walked for long. Anyway, it seems alright, when i sit down without walking!

Since i have completed all my silly jobs last week, i am so so so free today! I am so free until i don't know what should i do. Person around me are so busy to complete their job before CNY. Very huge contrast, because i sat here surfing nets from morning until now.

Luckily the time still moving, and it's already 3pm.. Yeah!!! btw, i am so boring now! serious!
hehe....

Opps.. i forgot to mention! My New workstation is here!!! yeaH!! Finally i have my new dekstop which is quite great in spec!!! hehe..

Review on single life

2008-02-04T09:24:00.000+08:00

One weeks ago, i posted a blog said that i wanted to enjoy this few days of my single life as my "best friend" is in outstation for biz trip! hehe.. well, today he is coming back from china.. and let just review what have i done on these days!

Actually i did not do all the things i have plan to.

Anyway, most achievable is i completed my job earlier and won some good praise and appreciation from the managements.

Attended a group's dinner and have a nice dinner gathering with them..

Finished all my downloaded movie clips in one weeks time and started a novel, probably few pages!

Then i washed and vacuumed my car. I wanted to polish it, but have no more time for that!!

I did some exercise, ermm.. just very short time. But i diarrhea for 2 days, i believed it weight off a little bit! Hope it did! :)

and.. i brought my mum to shopping.

I also went for facial treatment, and self- hair treatments for twice! Now my hair become softer, but in overall, they don't look nicer! so sad!

Finished a new game... turbo sub! keke.. in 3 days! (nope jz 3 nite) for 60 levels.
whahaha..!!

That's all.... following 7 days, i gonna appreciate my "in relationship" days.. because after these 7 days, i gonna have my single life again.. because he is going to biz trip @gain!!.

Black and white

2008-01-29T10:18:00.000+08:00

Nowadays i really facing a problem.. whereby i fall into a same point .. "black and white".
Do you practice to keep all the "black and white" so that it keeps as an evidence to prove that you have done something? Well..previously i omit the importance of this, but now i trust that it is damn hell important!

Last month i get a complaint from someone that i did not do this and that and then i do that and this... and i cannot fight back that i already did this and that.. because i do not have black and white!

Then today i get another claim that they cannot do this and that for me because i did not request it earlier, while the truth is i did!!!i did asked them to do it so long aso but unfortunately i lost the fought because i don't have this black and white! and then i gonna say ok no choice because god damn it that i am wrong! very very pissed off!

You see, why am i falled into the same point for two times, and i learned nothing? why don't i always keep the shit black and white or create this idiot black and white and send to all management or cc to all big bosses? Why can't people just base on their sincerity and trust to work on something? Why people wanna bully you as they think you are kind hearted enough and think you are very good to be bullied? All are bullshit! fed up with all of this!

See, i just put this cute border collie wallpaper on my dekstop and wan this cutie to remind me so that i always bearn in mind that "black and white" is very important! see.. the dog is so black and white! pretty dog huh?!

Bitch comes into my dream!

2008-01-28T13:43:00.000+08:00

Have you ever dislike somebody until you can even dream of him/her bad at night and wanna slap him/her in the dream?? I DO!

I am so dislike of a gal who used to play some dirty office politic trick and frequently backstabbed me!! yes, i admit that in this realitistic world, everywhere is full of this kind of person! but God DamnIt..this person is doing all this dirty trick to me! I hate her! Frankly speaking she is the only one i hate in this office..

You know person who knows how to play this kind of trick is truly a smart one.. but i really felt disappointed or i should say i look down her! I hate person who have no ability and yet using all those silly trick just to put herself up and win some recognition! Don't have to mention and you know she is polishing the bosses' shoes! Shit! silly chick!

The most funniest thing is i dislike this girl until i dreamt of her last nite! haha.. she was in my dream and some sort of threatening me and asked me to do her some favor. If i don't want to do her that.. she's gonna do something to make me lost my chance. Know what?! I almost got the chance to slap her... but i wake up! kakaka... see!! Guess today when i see her face in the office, i gonna laugh secretly...you dirty bitch!

Gonna make it different!

2008-01-25T18:22:00.001+08:00

Life is gonna change a little bit from yesterday onwards.. until... ermm.. i hv 12 days time.
why? hehe.. becoz my "best friend" went oversea for biz trip..
So, rather than always feeling missing and loneliness.. i wanna make those days the very special and enjoy! yup.. it has to be enjoyable! at least i don't waste up these days. :D

I have some planning.. i wanna spend my time watching movie, reading my unfinished novel and book, facial treatment, hair treatment, keep fitting.. and of coz completing my stupid and silly job! Oh ya.. of coz i still need to work.. so i gonna fully utilize my spare time to do something fun! Instead of laying lazily and moody there for nothing.. and ends up when he came back.. i done nothing. So stupid huh!?

Yesterday, i been through a very very busy day. I spend whole morning sending and replying my best gal friend email.. we were talking about a new started relationship of her.. Congratulation to her and wish her happiness. Then spending my whole afternoon trouble shooting and doing some draft job. For god sake, i work until 9 something at nite.. my god! i am so tired and did not able to complete it! I reached home before 10pm. Fortunately, i still hv time to entertain myself by watching a unfinished show.. quite funny! I went to bed at 1130 pm and wake up at 4am.. jz becoz i am too tension of my unfinished job! My god..

Today.. i spend whole morning doing nothing but the draft.. adding some interruption from some vendor and make my job more and more... Gosh!!!! hehe..but i still able to complete it before 4pm. really tired! Luckily tomorrow i don't hv to work..must hv good rest then! hehe...

Pretender or High EQ?

2008-01-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

Do you feel of laughing or smiling even though you are not really happy?
Lately, one of my colleague keep asking me to smile.. and i was wondering..why? Why is he always asked me to smile... Today i was like come on! i always smile! What's going on to yoU! and he told me that... i know you are not happy, although there's a smile on your face.

I keep thinking about his words.. but it doesn't annoyed me much! Today when i was at the petrol station, someone reversed his car and knocked on mine! A minor crash and my heart was like... OMG~!!! very nervous and worry..but gosh...the silly smile is still hanging on my face..and i told my friend..Is ok..nvm..

All the way back..i was like lost my soul..but i am still smiling! Crazy and funny... What is going on to me? Am i turn to be a pretender or i have an upgraded EQ?! Cannot believe that...

Afterall, i start to think back what my colleague told me! "I know you are not happy, although you are smiling!" What a pity! I am so fake!

I don't know my feeling now, actually i just don't know! sometime i just feel i am so tired..especially when someone still trying to challenge my emotion by arguing about some issue like crying baby...Really fed up sometime.. Anyway, i successfully protect my emotion by avoiding the condition to turn bad! boring! Arghh....

Desperate of keeping a dog!

2008-01-21T19:27:00.000+08:00

People who know me well knows that i am very much a dog lover. Yeah! i love dog very very much. Last time i used to have few dogs at my house but now no more now! OK, actually last time i have quite a numbers of dog and although i love playing around with them, i guess i not really taken up the responsibility of taking care of it! What do i mean? Well, except of playing around with them.. i do nothing! All are done by my mom.. She do the cleaning, food feeding, bathing.. everything!

So, i gave myself very good excuse that the reason i wasn't really into it is because they are not a good breed but mix! hehe.. so, i keep on dreaming to have a good breed dog one day.. Unfortunately, getting myself a dog isn't easy. u know why? a pure breed's dog is so so expensive. (of course depends on the breed)...

But you know, i want to have a big size and fury fury dog. With this requirement, i have less choice if thinking about the weather of Malaysia and my ability! Golden retriever and labrador retriever of course is the best option, but it is very much too friendly and hyperactive. I wish i can have a guard dog! So, perhaps guard dog category dog is more preferrable for me! Rockweiler, german shepherd or doberman is all very good dog!.. but i have my fantasy on german shepherd. hehe...

I think i can have it and imaging the fury fury big dog sleeping on floor while i sleep on bed. hehe.. great huh!? i can have someone to talk to when i have insomia.. keke.. so multi purpose dog ya! When i out for work, he can be at home take good care of my mum and dad... maybe i can train the dog to do some simple task.. and sooner or later i have a good life helper! kekeke

okok..stop dreaming now.

Insecurity of Job

2008-01-17T14:47:00.000+08:00

Working alone really isn't that fun or enjoy! Yup, someone might say working alone, you be able to make your own decision, no interruption and you earn all the recognition..etc..etc.. But working alone is very lonely, you have no people to discuss your problem and have no one to share you stress or burden.. You have to cope everything by yourself and grab all the responsibility with you.

Lately, i felt so much intention of leaving my current job! Whatever it is.. quit and search for some new job! Perhaps i don't have to be in this line anymore, searching for some other job which suits me more! Or..give myself a break and think wisely on my future undergoing! Sometime we do not know what we want and what's our target and unintentionally we pick a wrong path to go...

It's not that i am regretting for taking up this job..jz i felt sense of loniness for being a lone-ranger! People say i am pioneer..but i see myself nothing because i am actually doing everything and ends up i might not promise any pay back. I might get nothing this time.. i mean no promotion and nothing..

Really getting less and less motivated. Gosh! who's going to motivate me?! I am out of mood..tired of working now. Anybody have any good job to introduce me? please~

Insects attacked!

2008-01-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

Time passed so soon and chinese new year is jz gonna at d corner! I remembered when i was young, CNY is my favourite and most waiting forward holiday. Why? Becoz i hv many "ang Pao" and long holiday... But when i getting elder and elder.... i start to lost my passion on this event.. of coz is not becoz of the reducing amount of "ang pao" but the happiness of those days..

Anyhow.. this year is gonna be a very different one from past 24 years.. becoz this year we will enjoy our "OWN" family gathering.. without some other "peace destroyers" or "pretender" to join us.. I hope it's gonna be a very wonderful, lovely and simple CNY.

One thing i really don't like about this season is that weather getting truly hot! Really fed up..! Now.. the weather already started to gettng hot! and when comes to the nite.. weather change drastically and a groups of small insects coming from nowhere!

I have been attackign by this small insects for days.. really pissed off! Not sure what happen, perhaps is becoz the light which attracted them.. but come on!! gv me a break! i need to sleep.. i has been awaked at 3am in the morning for days.. and running away from my room!

Gosh@.. can't believe that i was attacked by insects.. for no reason! i must hv done something bad..! No...please.. i'm really gonna be exhausted for lack of rest.. jz let me sleep tonight! please~

Happy New Year 2008

2008-01-02T12:05:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year...
Wishes you alwz happy n stay healthy...

So how do you celebrate ur new year eve? Enjoyed?
I have a quite unforgetable new year eve celebration! Yup!.. the most terrific in my 25 yrs.
It is my 1st time i saw "古惑仔" or we called it gangsters in my real life!
Luckily no one was hurt! Thanks god!

On new year eve, together with some friends, we went to a pub nearby the Penang jetty.. it is a happening place and we thought it must be a great place for such a happening day! We paid and enjoyed there... but around 1 hours later, about 30 mins before the new year, a group of gangsters with helmet on their hand rushed into the pub and start to smash everything (exclude the people)...

We were caught in surprise and so scared... they thrown the tables and chairs into the sea and smashed the beers, liquors, glass, decoration, tables, counter..etc etc that they able to smash! The floor is full of broken glass... It is so so so terrify!

We ran away immediately without able to safeguard our paid beer or souvenirs. so unfortunately! Paid for RM240, we only drank half of the beers and left half to be broken by those gangsters!

Cool ya!? Btw...really feel ashamed with them!

Btw, it was no doubt a very memorable new year i have passed!

Working hard jz to pass the day faster!

2007-12-08T11:12:00.000+08:00

It has been some time i did not update my blog. Really busy with my job.. and so many problem occurred... and so many thingt to be picked up.. Headache!!

Anyway.. holiday is around the corner! So much of expectation and excited... My company has a long holiday.. we will have holiday on 19-25th and 29th- 2nd Jan... Quite long holiday... so happY!

However, most happy thing is i will be able to meet two of my best friends during this holiday..and perhaps i might meet my lovely roomate too... It has been long long long time i did not meet them...

On 19th Dec, i will meet up with one of my best friend who came back from Australia.. If not mistaken.. the last time i met her when i visit her hometown few years back.. Luckily we did not lost contact... Gal.. miss you so much... not sure how you have changed into? Don't forget our Laksa gathering..

On 20-21st Dec, i will be visiting Malacca.. the place where i spent my 4 years there for uni life. Quite missing that place.. because there are so many sweet memories.. My god family, people who loves me.. my friends.. I am coming soon.. But the most excited part is my best friend.. going to meet me there.. It has been 2 years not seeing her. Really waiting forward for the days to arrive.

On 23rd Dec, departing from Malacca, i will go to KL for shopping.. wow.. jz think about it makes me happy. haha..

so many holidays.. nevermind.. i work hard now.. earning more OT.. and have a great great holiday plan... Ganbatte Kudasai!!!

Simple Life that looks complicate!

2007-11-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

Lately, my working life is so stressful. Tonnes of work to be completed and so many new things to catch up.. Bearing all alone.. really make me felt so tired. Pissed off!

Trying so hard to make everything seems good is my daily routine. A lot of frustration. Getting no understanding is another most upset things. However... things like this easily passed, everything might back to normal soon enough, i guess!

Had some talk with someone i trust and get some advice is really nice. Especially when you're really imbalance and get no point of balancing. Someone help you to set some reason of continuing... i felt glad with the appearance of someone like this. Unfortunately, again, you spend no time for that!

I always ask myself.. how much is my passion on you? I not sure..again and again.. same question repeated..what am i going to do? i not sure! I'm jz frustrated... and desperate.

LIfe Partner - Part 2

2007-11-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

Well...i nearly forgotten that i have promised to continue writting about Life partner on my own point of view. Yup.. I am not only busy with my new job.. i am sick too! Lately, i am easily sick. I have no idea why but to explain that i have move to a new office environment and sitting under an air con circulation diffuser. So, i suck in dirty air which makes me.... Sick! Too bad.. i have been MC for so many times after i moved here...

OK, let's don't talk about that. Talking about life partner, i felt so happy to read my friends comment that they have exactly same thinking as i do. Yup.. i don't actually need some one who must stick to for day and night..but at least he has to be good in balancing his life. What is job and what's private life! I don't like to be with you jz because i need luxury life from you. I need love.. need time, need patient..and cares of course!

So, when i was discussing this matter with my friends in the gathering.. i felt like i am some one who are really tradisional mind! Why say so??? They said that, they can even accept if the guys have no time for them, don't have to care... but to give them money. That's really annoying after i listened to that... But of course.. i always listen instead of commenting. So, i keep listening.

Until they start to talk about what's their dream wedding.. dream house, dream life and also... about future... They start to talked about money $$$. It's quite interesting actually. But they seems to say that if your man is not actually earning great money.. please dumb him! Let's make it simple.. For example.. when you plan to get marry, you will have to decorate your room. So.. how much to decorate the room? Friend A: Rm10K. At least RM10K.. because you need to buy $^@*&@... So Friend B said: What!! RM10K?? No.. At least RM25K... I was like.. "freak".. after listening to that.. but.. still keep silent.. But my mind start calculating.. "tik" "tik" "tak" "tak"... why need so much?? Aren't that jz a room?? So, they start to say... hey joyjoy.. your bf earn that much or not??? i was still in my calculation... "HUH"!! Jz break up with him..no use to continue be with him, if you don't see he able to do that...

Oppss.. i smile..and think.."Are you crazy???" haha.. of coz... i never say anything..but..feeling very much funny with their thinking... So, get really happy after listen to my best friends comment.. well.. i am not that weird!! keke

Friendship?

2007-11-02T07:38:00.001+08:00

Do you trust there will be true friendship in working environment?
Do you believe that?
Yes i do. I sincerely be friend with some person and we getting closer and closer...
Slowly and slowly, we became someone that can share certain level of privacy.
We supporting each others..and helping each others..
From other person eyes, we are close friends... and i believe that...we are close friends..

I always think that when you treat someone good, people will treat you good. This is always my principle. I hope to get the same treatment from others. But since long time ago, i knew it was not correct. You give someone apple, does not mean they will return you an apple. They can give you orange, or others. Giving and receiving might not be tally. I knew it earlier. But for me, inner heart of me, i still remember this.

Since i was small, i have a very close friend, we went to same tuition, taken same bus to school, always be together.. joining same society..ends up...she ignore me for no reason. I feel sad and cry for a week. This happened when i was in form 1.

Still in secondary school, i have another close friend..getting closer and closer to me, because she sat besides me in the class for 3 years. We have done a lot together..ends up, she told me she hates me because she jealous of me. This happened when i was in form 5.

With hope, joined university and still think if you treat someone good, she treats you good in return. There, I met a girl.. we became closer and closer...but ends up she still always make me crying secretly at nite. But doesn't matter..

During that moment, i have another good friend, same class with me, we were so good and close..and ends up i been backstab for free. She is the one make me cried uncontrollable on the street...It happened when i doing industrial training in Penang..

Of coz...out of those close friends.. there's still one..my ex. He is the most disappointed part.

After i graduated... i joined this company. I became more aware. Aware of giving out true friendship and feeling. But i do...and i get hurt!

Last night, when everything refresh in my mind, i realized one thing. I easily cry. Cannot control my tears.. hehe.. but i know...my heart is squeezing painfully again and again....

LIfe Partner - Part 1

2007-10-30T15:16:00.000+08:00

What kind of partner are you searching for? Do you ever think of this kind of question??
Partner... there can be many type of partner.. Business partner, working partner, domestic partner..life partner..many more.

I guess there should be different requirement for looking of different type of partner.
But today i want to talk about life partner.

What is your requirement on your life partner? Someone who is smart? Rich? Handsome? Ambitious?? or anything?? Of coz for girls, they might have so many requirements in their mind..but love always make them blind.

Few weeks back, i have a gathering with some friends. It has been long time i did not meet them. In the gathering, we were talking about their ideal life partner and one of my buddy said she would want a guy who is ambitious and chasing for luxury life.. even though that guy unable to spend time with her, that's fine. What she need is the life, the commitment of great life. Because of her "target", she dumped her bf of 3 yrs and back to single life. She clearly knew that he is not the guy of his "target". He is in his 30s. Already lost the desire of fighting. He no longer OT for days and nights. He have other thought and thinks of balancing life. HOwever, friend of mine is jz graduated not long ago. She is still so anthusiasted. So passionate of working. From monday to sunday, from morning til night.. workaholic life. Different perception in life.. different feeling.. different way of dealing.. therefore, they broke.

Then we started to talk about this issue. Everyone in the gathering said that she is right. Don't waste time following a wrong guy. However, although i wasn't really know that guy, at least, from my one side perception, i think it might not be his problem. Maybe my friend problem, who knows?

What do you think? Is it necessary to have one life partner who is truly ambitious and can let go anything, include you? Don't you mind if you are not the priority of him? I guess everyone want to marry a rich guy, so am i. But i don't think i want someone who put me after his ambition and work.

Well, i want to hear what you think before i tell you what i think...so, let's continue in next post.

Lost job soon!!!

2007-10-30T07:56:00.000+08:00

Yes...i am now in a threat of losing my job..
Why?? No.. it's not my company is going to migrate to China.. jz some stupid vendor charging some stupid price...

haha...as you know, i switched to this new launched department..The job operation is transferred from japan and the reason of the transfer is becoz of the cost incurred too high. So, management decided to start up this operation locally so that they able to cut down the cost!

Well, everyone knew that Japan cost is damnly high... everything also much expensive than others.. So, after doing some market study and vendor investigation, we conclude that there must be at least 50% reduce in the cost.

We are so steady and think that it would definitely having a better price. Finally, we get the cost table today.. O M G!!! it was so beautifully made.. the cost is so damnly high until i jz don't know why he should charge that! haha...

Of coz the table cost also cc to my sector head, he immediately send us an email and ask us to explain to him in detail. I feel so funny! You know why?

It was originally very expensive in Japan and becoz of this silly reason, they brought this here. Now, it was much much more expensive than Japan...imagine how those management feel? haha.. i don't know what he will do to that vendor...

But guess what?? There are no point to start something here which has higher cost incurred. So, joyjoy...please prepare to lost job!!! keke..

Saturday should not work!

2007-10-20T08:37:00.000+08:00

Saturday...
This is gonna be a very sleepy saturday..
I hate working on saturday..
Why do we need to replace our working day on saturday..
it has been so un-motivated to work on this day.
This is suppose a day when i can sleep until 12 pm at the afternoon..
Why shall i wake up so early jz to make sure i am in the office at this f**king morning.
Sien~~~

Btw.. today i have really no mood of working, especially sitting in an office which looks more like a library..I jz don't like this environment..
People here are so tense.. and they are still so into the working mood...
Come ON.. today is saturday.. Do you hear me???!!!
Sien~~~

I have passport, let's go for travel!

2007-10-13T09:45:00.000+08:00

Hoo... finally comes the holiday. It has been long long time i did not update my blog.. and everytime i able to view friends's blog.. i jz simply read it and close without commenting.. Now.. i have times to go through all again and do comment.. hehehe...

Well...thinking to continue my tokyo photo sharing, but quite a lazy to upload those photo, so i guess.. if you are interested to watch, please go to my friendster.. i have uploaded some photo with my face of coz!..

Yeah...i wanted to say here.. i already have PASSPORT!!!! I have many many place thinking to go now!! yeah! Last time because of i don't want to spend RM300 for that silly red book, i always been limited to travel... only can travel around Malaysia.. Now.. i am go beyond Malaysia... yeah!! becaused i have my passport paid by company!

So, i am thinking to visit Singapore as my first destination... of coz i also want to go Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea, Bangkok, Pulau Phuket, Bali, etc etc etc... Wow.. REally siok... Where else... perhaps Australia.. to visit my lovely friend.. keke..

Let's plan it.... hurray!

Tokyo Sharing

2007-10-01T21:18:00.000+08:00

Continue yesterday sharing

Surprisingly i found Hello Kitty bas on the street.. hehe... So cute. If Malaysia also have so cute bas, i think it would be a nice scene while traffic jam..

Tokyo Station if i remember it correctly.

Shinjuku- one of the most crowded area in Tokyo. Very full of youngster and also is a place which full of night life.

Marble street in Shinjuku, so crowded. It's hard to take this picture as whole street is compact with people. Yeah...
You can see from this photo, so many people crossing the road even though it is raining. By the way, it considered less because it is still early. There are more people in the late night. I jz don't understand why.. but this is their night life place.

Doughnuts shops. You cannot imagine, how many people is queueing outside. Rainy day man!! some more it is truly cold you know. For me, i swear i will not line up jz to buy doughnut. But frankly speaking, when we passed by the shop, it really smell so nice. But, queue lazy la!!

By the way, people here really funny, they can really queue up for anything. Really everything!

Shinjuku city.. it already considered the city with most car on street. keke..

This street..hehe..cannot remember what's the name already. But if you can understand chinese word, you will know. In this place, full of prostitute shops and karaoke... and sex shops.. haha

It is very open, the girl naked photo jz hanging outside the shop and there are agent (papa san) standing outside to sell their girls.. haha, but they targeted to those person who walk alone.

Tokyo Trip

2007-09-30T20:10:00.000+08:00

It has been sometime i stop blogging.

Lately, i am really very busy with my new job and my life seems to be so tensed.

Anyhow, today i felt released whereby i totally released all the pressure that brought to me.

Let's share with you, some area of my visit today in Japan.

This inside their train, quite fast, almost same like our LRT. But you can found out some culture different here, people here don't talk to each other. Once they step into the train, they used to read book, sleep, listening to mp4, or playing their hp.

This is Tokyo city road. It is the route we walk to the Tokyo Palace. Very clean and beautiful scene all along the road. Really like the feel, but... raining all the while. So bad!

Well, this is one of the entrance of the Tokyo Palace. We has been directed to go in from this gate. After we go in, take a left turn, we can go into a park, but due to the bad weather and cold wind, we give up on this beautiful place.

Beginning of the beautiful park..and we realize some special plantation...like below.

Is this possible sakura? But it's now autumn season.. Impossible right?

It looks weird, feel like a small small fruit attached. Can it be eaten?

I like this place the most, it was not crowded with person, and yet it is so peace here.

The grass is so green and soft and i hope i can lay down there. It would be nice...i guess!

This is a very famous bridge in Tokyo Japan named Nijubashi Bridge. It is located jz in front of the Tokyo Palace. Very beautiful and traditional looks.

Above all is my 1st visited area. I still visit some other area, i will share it out soon in the future. Today is jz too tired for me and ya.. very cold here, 16 degree and it is cold for me as i make the wrong forecaste and brought all short sleeve shirts.

No Pain No Gain!

2007-09-09T12:41:00.000+08:00

Getting more and more busy, more and more stressful on my newly assigned job, I felt that day by day my shoulder are sinking and my mentality is corrupting.
So many workload thrown to me and i have to complete and skill up as soon as i can.
My model is going to start soon on October, while i still yet to received any training until this moment...
I felt extra insecured with so many unclear issues while i have no choice but to proceed with more enthusiasm and hardwork.
Lately, i had flew to KL for procedure learning and investigation, i get more headache and pressure after the trip. At the mean time i was requested to prepare a report and a couples of check list, schedule and progress reports. Hectic!
Besides i get no answer for why i need to fly here and there jz to attend meeting.. I have to fly next week again to KL for a discussion. Why can't they come here!?? I felt so tired.
Frankly speaking, i started to have low EQ in handling this job as i am bombard with more and more jobs... until i saw this..

"No Pain No Gain..Accept the pain, future will be fruitful"
Don't feel the work you are doing is pain, because there will be always a reason for the pain or work.
So face the pain, for the pain you face, there will be definitely happiness a head.

Well.. This quote comes so in time.. i felt better now. Hope everything get smooth very soon.

What rules is that!!!

2007-09-04T08:03:00.001+08:00

Lately my company has a newly created rules.

Everyone must open their car boot themselve for security to check when we leaving our company area.

Previously, when we drove to the gate, we shall only unlock the car boot from inside and then the security guard will open to check and close back for us.

But now, they have this rules where all has to be done by ourself.
It has been very inconvenience as sometime there are so many cars driving out and make the traffic so long queeing behind jz because everyone need to come out to open one by one. Really frustrated.

Well, come out from the car wasn't really so bad idea if it is in good weather and non-peak time, but what if it is raining? There has no shelter or awning or everything. It is open air area and even though raining the guard still instruct us to get down!

OK. There's a case i experienced yesterday. This guard who was on duty gave me a hand sign (all five fingers pointed to the gate), and so i thought he has given me green light to go as yesterday is rainy day and don't have to check. So, i slowly move out, who knows he shouted and flapped my car. I was like in surprise, stop and look at him. He now shows me a sign that i am in trouble. Ok. he asked me to get down. I gave him a sign and said, you open yourself. He insisted and so i get down. So i said you ask me to go.. "NoNO!!, i asked you to stop." Nvm.. then you cannot check for me even though raining? "Cannot!, even it is a good day, rainy day or even thunder storm you also have to come down yourself!" ... Come On. What's that attitude..I nearly told him that "Wait and see, tomorrow i sure complaint you!"

Fair enough, i really feel it is a very stupid rules. What for people make those rules and don't even care about others. We here are not goverment. This is jz a company! Why makes rules that everyone don't like, why not jz stick back to usual. Really pathetic.!!!

Unpleasant Scene But it's fact!

2007-08-28T08:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i have went through a very cruel realistic fact! Ermm..maybe i shouldn't use the words "went through".. I shall said "seen". Yes..yesterday i had been given a chance to "visit" our company's new cafetaria.

Actually the "visit" was out of my wish..Frankly speaking, i was "forced" to join a team of people to make a safety audit to the new cafetaria. I don't want to use the word "forced" if i am too free or even the audit is organized by some other person who give me better face. But anything organized by that "Lady" really make me feel unbearable. {why? there's such a person? i tell u later, maybe in other topic}...

Let's go back to the main point.. what is the realistic fact? Well.. at first we jz walked around at the cafetaria area and checked and commented on those wet floor, fire extinguisher, zebra lines, smoking area, etc.. very common and "no harm" place. Then my group mates proposed that we shall walked into the kitchen to see if there's anything. So, we walked in.

Story starts here.. frankly speaking, i did not see any cockroach or rat or lizard... but~~... Auak!!!{vomit}..Really awful...Those raw material leave on the floor while the floor is so wet and dirty..Spillage of food everywhere... Unclean pot and plates leaving here and there. The unpleasant smell... arghh!!! I jz don't understand how those workers can stay inside there! I would have fainted if i were there for more than 10 mins.

Well, passing the hot kitchen (Chinese cuisine), we went to another hot kitchen (malay cuisine)... I don't want to think back, it's like another mess. I doubt how they walk around in that kitchen as dustbin throwing all over the floor, uncleaned pots, plates, raw food etc.. is all on the floor.!!! Cannot even look at it..I am so so worried that i might slipped and fall.. The floor is wet and so many "obstacle'.. Serious man!

OK.. all this can only make my appetite turns half bad.. until i reached the conveyor and plates cleaning area... I nearly vomit out.. {i felt so proud of my sense of control}... I swear if you see how they wash the plate, you will at least quit eating the food they served for at least 1 months. Gosh!!! They don't wash!!! ok, to be fair enough.they did... but i don't think what they doing is washing plates.. They are jz throwing away those unfinished foods and drop the plate into a pool of "detergents" and not even lap it... then take it up.. throw into another pool of "black water" and that's it! It's done. My goodness, imagine when you put your rice with some vege and pour some soup into the rice and stir it while eating deliciously.. yummy!!~~at the back of all this, you eatng the unclean shampoo, black water, ermm.... and not sure any other things that had crawled over the plate.. {arghh..stop thinking}..

So..that's it before i can elaborate more what i had seen in the cold kitchen and their food storage.. i think i better stop.. else.. it might become my nightmare and turns me into anorexia..

New Life Challenge

2007-08-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

Lately, i have been offerred a new challenge. It was a job.

How should i say? Ermm... okie.

2 Weeks ago, one of my division head called me up and told me that management has a plan to form up a new group..or it should be called a department...
Well, forming up a department is not what i shall be control, however.. i have been offerred to join this new group and be the pioneer of the group.

To be more specific, it is a group to create or write service manual..
You must be thinking, what is service manual??? Service manual is a manual written for servicemen to carry out service and repair of our products.

Frankly speaking, i has nothing in my mind about service manual when my div head spoke to me about this job. I have totally no idea what the heck is that? What is the job function? What am i going to do and how hard is that??? All in my mind was jz wow!!! Great opportunity!! I can drop all my "Shit" job now and get my new life!!! Everything become so easy and wonderful as i only see the good side of dropping my current job and the "benefit" of taking up a new job... Haha... But i am not that desperate and i told him i will consider it. {but deep in my heart, there's voices coming out and say YES!YES! YES!!! - very loud}..

I don't much considering it because at that moment, i am truly happy and don't actually analyze the difficulty and challengeable of forming up a new department. So, the next week, i told him.. Boss, I am IN!

He seems to be very happy and soon enough my sector head give me a call and ask me to meet him. When i sat down in front of him, he starts to smile and said "Well, i think you have heard about your new challenge", "To be frank, you are alone and i am going to say that this is a very tough job"...{i started to sweat} ... and he starts to praise me.. "I see that this is a very tough job and i know i have to get someone who have clear mind and very powerful... And i know you are very powerful although you are young"..{Shit!!!...i starting to get colder and colder}.. Afterall, i don't remember what he told me.

Guess why am i so pressure? Come ON. First and foremost, i am the only one! I am alone and even if i die, i am going to die alone. That's a major problem! Second thing is that my boss has very high expectation on me.. i cannot fail him. No..not only i cannot fail him.. I shall show him very good result. You know what he did another day? He introduces me to another japanese boss and the first thing he mentioned to him is "she is very powerful". Gosh!! If you weren't saying that, i would have feeling better. I guess he is trying to motivate me with those "Sweet" words.. but it indirectly make me feel stress.

You know what i feel after the meeting? I felt like someone is sitting on my shoulder. After the meeting, when i walked out from the meeting room... i felt great pains on my shoulder, jz like a there's thousands tones of burden dropped on me!

Well.. recently i been busying meeting and meeting, collecting data, reading back those service manual created by Japan SM Group, interviewing designers, and prepare report. Really pressuring. Whenever am i, i am thinking of my new "Challenge"....

Anyhow, although it is much pressuring.. i still like it.. because as i first mentioned..i can drop my "shit" job while learning more knowledge and skills... and of coz if compare to my current job, it has brighter future and better market value.

Heart Breaking

2007-08-11T14:32:00.000+08:00

Today i received some words that is so so similar like what someone talked to me few years back. Because of that silly words, i decided to release. Years passed, i still feeling so scared and don't want to refresh back that moment, the moment of glass breaking.. no.. heart breaking. That moment really make my pulse stop. How hard am i to struggle and breath back. Anyhow..all those sadness reduced time to time...

After few years... same blames i received. What't's going on? Perhaps so many years i thought i did improve myself...but i don't! I failed at the same point. I failed to the same reason.

Words out from mouth can not be pulled back! You knew that. I wasn't about "you're sorry!". Glass breaking sounds is so so obvious and loud out from my heart. Don't you heard that? It wasn't about "I'm sorry" and the broken glass can be glued back. Even it is, there's still cracked lines there. Everything jz not going to be the same.

P.S: This is how my heart breaking..jz like this glass..

Dangerous Mad Dog Zone

2007-08-10T14:18:00.001+08:00

Today i'm extra ordinary boring..All my silly job has been completed, important job..sick of doing it..pending job..keep on pending..haha....
But to pass the time, i have created some funny stuff... Dangerous Mad Dog Zone~~ Yeah..

Actually lately, i felt that i have mad dog symdrom. Emotional unstable and love to bite~~ So, jz becareful ya...Don't make me mad

Family

2007-08-09T11:40:00.001+08:00

Are you with your family? Do you love them?
I'm growing in a big family.
Whenever i said that, other will asked "Big Family?, There's only your parents, your brother & you!, How big is that?"
Normally to those i am not so close with, I will only smile back and say "ya"..jz lazy of explaining.
But to those close one, i will said "I have 2 mothers, my mum is the 2nd wife of my dad and we have total 10 siblings" Can it consider big family? No doubt!

Living in a big family isn't easy, some more my mum is 2nd wife. Anyone who heard about 2nd wife will think that my mum is the bad lady who stole my dad's love. I do not know what's the fact when my mum be with my dad. My big mum {dad's big wife} passed away due to cancer while i was in 7 yrs old. Then dad stayed together with us.

When i start to grow up bigger and bigger, i understand one theory. Even though we are so called this one big family, but those step brothers and sisters still unable to accept my mum, me and my brother. Sad to say that i always lies when my close friends ask me how's our relationship, i always said "we are very happy family". In Actual, is jz another scenario.

Everyone in this house is jz pretending to be good in front of dad. Behind us, they jz complaining and speaking a lot that i don't even want to mention here.
Day by day, they don't even come to visit dad. Some will comes once per month, some can only seen the face in cny. Really embarrassing. But what did they said? They said we {mum, bro & me} have take away dad from them. How can they say that, they don't even care about dad!!

But who knows about the fact behind. We do! Dad knew too. Without Mum, i don't think dad able to live until today 76 yrs old.
So many yrs, living in this so called "big family", i learned a lot of ability and i admit that i am very sensitive. Somehow, i think i'm also a pretender.

Frankly, i jealous those who have simple family. I wanted to be simply. No pretending, no accusing, no pinpoint..no hurt.

Pissed Off Day!

2007-08-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

Today is another typical busy day. But i still have time to update my blog here. Surprise?
I jz have no heart to work, i am not motivated!
I'm getting more and more emotional. Except of the cough, i felt so tired and frustrated.
Getting sensitive with every single little thing!
Really pissed off!!!

Lately, one of my colleague (the one who showing off his Dell laptop) really pissed me off! Not sure why is that everything is getting wrong on him. Every single words and action, really make me wanted to walk away. Jz not sure why am i so dislike his attitude. Frankly speaking i don't think i dislike his people, is jz that i don't like the style of he talking. Is seems like he is always right, while other are jz inferior.

OK. Let's talk about it (never mention about the Dell case). He used to be quite close to me in the office and sometime he will come over and chat with me. Whenever he saw me working, he will definitely comment something. "The poster you design really ugly!", "You really not so good in this!","Why don't you do that!", etc.. Well, sometime i do appreciate people giving comment, but defnitely not this way. If you are thinking to criticize me and saying that you are jz good enough, it's better you don't speak a word. Fine, jz forget about that, he can even make it a joke in front of other colleagues and saying that "she is really desigining the ugly poster!", etc..(sick of mentioning again!)

What would you do if you really face this condition? Serious? OK. To be fair enough, i don't actually scold him for his "kindness" of giving comment. I jz be more humble and said "Yes lo, i am really no talent".. But in fact, i jz DON'T BUY IT!!! and STOP DOING THAT!

So, day by day..he makes my grievances more and more. BUT!!! He don't know about that..and continue doing the same thing whereby today he also complained about my bad choice on purchasing a software. SHIT! it is OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

Well.. i told this to a "friend" of I.. and he jz give me some words.. "Iya...Friend nia", "Don't pek cek la". OK. I shut up!

Baby, U want?

2007-08-01T17:51:00.001+08:00

Do u like baby?
I like baby, and wanted baby..BUT NOT NOW!!! Yes!!! NOT NOW!!!
Everytime when i saw those baby, i really like to look at them and hold them, but i not sure.. i jz don't think baby like me. Maybe i don't know how to hang around with them, play with them.. I truely don't know how.

Last week, my bf and i bring along his sister, mum and a baby (babysitted by his mum) to shopping mall. Due to we worried the baby will be noisy, so jz both of us went to cinema while the rest of them hanging around in the mall.

After the movie, we met them somewhere and went for dinner. Before that, the baby is walking (she has a baby car), and she refused to sit in her baby car. So, i saw she is exploring her way and my bf's mum and sister was chasing behind. From what i saw, i think that the baby is too much pampering by them, since the big guys are chasing behind, make her become more excited in "walking" around. So, once they get her up, she started to cry like the ceiling is jz about to drop down. OK, they put her down again.. and she started to "run" again! I was fed up of looking and stand beside.

Ok, finally we were to be seated in the restaurant. Once we sat down, she immediately grabbed the spoon on the table and dropped it. Unfortunately it was made of glass. Everyone looking to us, so embarrassed. Well, we asked the waitress to send us a baby chair and make her sit inside. Once we put her down, she started to scream and cry again. It's really frustrated. So, we have to hug her and walk around. I told them, she is too much of pampering, jz ignore her and leave her there. When she saw everyone ignoring him, she will stop it. But they said that she was tired and wanted to sleep. OK, i might not be too experience on that, so i shut up! Then one by one hugged her and walked around..until we finished our meal.

Everyone was tired, we went home then. Everyone was expecting she was too tired and will slept in the car, who knows she was the most energetic one. Even after we reached home, she still yet to fall asleep.

Come On! I might not be experience but so far from what i see, this family is too much of loving this baby. They never punish if she do something wrong. {well, punishing such a 1 yr old baby might sound funny} but, they are jz like too much of pampering.

One case, the little baby is so smart and she wanted to play my laptop instead of their house pc. So, whenever she saw my laptop appearing in their house, she is too excited to come over and smash my keyboard and print all her finger print into my laptop screen. What would you do? I am patient enough as i think she is jz a baby and she knows nothing. But what about those adults? My bf is also the one who allow! Funny right? He can still hugging her to smash my laptop and don't even stop her. Until they hit my level of patient, and started to say "No baby no" {softly}, then he will say "cannot ah xxx, cannot" without even pull her away from my laptop. OK. Continue smacking! Shit!!!

Too much of pampering, man! My feeling is yes, a baby is cute and we love her is great enough. But too much of pampering don't mean loving her, you ruin her day by day. She is so much stubborn i can see even though she is jz 1 yr old plus.

Sounds strange for me to comment on a baby girl who is jz 1 yr old plus, she has no fault. That's not her problem, but person who grow her up.

I am wondering, am i qualify to be a mother? No... i don't think so. Because i have no patient to take care of a baby yet.

New Image

2007-08-01T17:39:00.000+08:00

Hehe...Finally i decided to cut my hair into short.
Now from the long hair sexy girl, i become a short hair secondary school girl..
Everyone starting to call me "little girl" like what my secondary school mate used to call me..
Sien!~~~

In fact, frankly speaking, i like this new image.. hehe.. i like it very much!
I look younger, fresher and cooler.. yeah!
By the way...after long time of long curl hair, i finally have a smooth soft hair now... hehe

离人

2007-07-25T09:25:00.000+08:00

介绍一首歌给你们，旧歌{离人}

银色小船摇摇晃晃弯弯悬在绒绒的天上
你的心事三三俩俩蓝蓝停在我幽幽心上
你说情到深处人怎能不孤独
爱到浓时就牵肠挂肚
我的行李孤孤单单散散惹惆怅
离人放逐到边界
彷佛走入第五个季节
昼夜乱了和谐涨泛任性涨退
字典里没春天
离人挥霍着眼泪
回避还在眼前的离别
你不敢想明天
我不肯说再见
有人说一次告别天上就会有颗星又熄灭