Congratulate to me..
It's not that i win any award or i want to get married...
But i decided to get myself a new job.
I am not sure when i will make my 1st move, but....anyway.. i had decided!
Recently, i'm so demotivated to work. I am so disappointed with the system of this company.
I was thinking, can i see my future here for continuing service in this company?
Yes, maybe i can become an assistant manager or manager somehow one day later, but what else can i be? Can i make it a difference?
Last week, i attended a meeting. After i stepped out from the meeting room, i know this isn't the place i want to be. Yes, everywhere is the same. But at least the pay make it different! I am getting a low pay but working in a heavy load, i am tired! What i am asking is not to add my burden by requesting me to do something that will finally waste my time and energy. But what i could see is i'm fighting on my own and finally be a silly joker.
I am fed up! Enough, what for am i earning so less and working for this! As well i am going to a higher pay place and get more money...
Anyway, i had decided and my family support me. This time, i hope i can make my move as soon as possible.
Good luck to you, joy!
Monday, 7 April 2008
Friday, 4 April 2008
My wish dashed
I did not remember if i did blog about my boss promise to convert me to an engineer position.
Forget it.. let me start again with the story.
There's once (can't remember the actual month, but about few months back) my "boss" told me that he had an intention to convert my position from officer to engineer. The reason was i am working on more technical related job like mechanical job and electrical job such as reading and checking schematic as well as pcb board.
The first reaction i heard about that was a shocked followed with a doubt. I asked him if he really able to do that since i was a business background person, he said no problem as he did it for his previous staff before. Anyway he had a requirement, whereby i need to pick up my technical know how as soon as i can, else it's hard for him to convert me. Fair enough, i agreed.
So, with all the strong desire to be an engineer and passion on my new hope... i am so enthusiast to learn as much as i can. Whenever i came across with all the unknown question, i will make sure i digged out the answer and i can understand it well. From how to see mechanical part, check mechanical part until how to operate mechanical 3D software, from how to read the schematic, PWB layout, understanding the IC, learn the function of the part, until able to check whether they did it correct or wrong... i learned it on my own. From know nothing until something... I doesn't mean that i am good in this, but at least from zero i gained something. Maybe it is all done in short time but i really pay a lot of effor on it and i admit that i expect some return.. i want to be an engineer.
Anyway, my dream start to crack when i knew that my 'boss' who promised to convert me into engineer no longer be my department head. Now, there's a new department head for my group. She knows very less about my job and the most important is she is a business background person as well. I knew that there's a impossible case for her to convert me, because she never gone through my progress, do not know that i am dealing with so much of engineering stuff..
..... disappointment + upset + demotivated + dream blow off.
Forget it.. let me start again with the story.
There's once (can't remember the actual month, but about few months back) my "boss" told me that he had an intention to convert my position from officer to engineer. The reason was i am working on more technical related job like mechanical job and electrical job such as reading and checking schematic as well as pcb board.
The first reaction i heard about that was a shocked followed with a doubt. I asked him if he really able to do that since i was a business background person, he said no problem as he did it for his previous staff before. Anyway he had a requirement, whereby i need to pick up my technical know how as soon as i can, else it's hard for him to convert me. Fair enough, i agreed.
So, with all the strong desire to be an engineer and passion on my new hope... i am so enthusiast to learn as much as i can. Whenever i came across with all the unknown question, i will make sure i digged out the answer and i can understand it well. From how to see mechanical part, check mechanical part until how to operate mechanical 3D software, from how to read the schematic, PWB layout, understanding the IC, learn the function of the part, until able to check whether they did it correct or wrong... i learned it on my own. From know nothing until something... I doesn't mean that i am good in this, but at least from zero i gained something. Maybe it is all done in short time but i really pay a lot of effor on it and i admit that i expect some return.. i want to be an engineer.
Anyway, my dream start to crack when i knew that my 'boss' who promised to convert me into engineer no longer be my department head. Now, there's a new department head for my group. She knows very less about my job and the most important is she is a business background person as well. I knew that there's a impossible case for her to convert me, because she never gone through my progress, do not know that i am dealing with so much of engineering stuff..
..... disappointment + upset + demotivated + dream blow off.
Wednesday, 2 April 2008
My current feeling
My feeling now is very much like this dog.
Anyway you can try interprete my feeling by looking at this dog.
It's now my wallpaper for my PC.
Super match my feeling now!!!
Dried out patient
It's really long time for my last update in this blog. Lately, i am so busy with my job and working for others as well as training someone who is very hard to be trained.
Anyway, almost all the job has been completed, what's left is just to train up my subordinate who might work with me continously. Why did i said "might", it's a uncertain term huh!? Actually she is someone who was given up by other group and thrown to me. Frankly speaking i do not want her to be with me, because i know she will drag my progress and make me into trouble. But because of some "top dog" insistent, i do not even have a chance to say No.
Training someone to do certain job isn't easy, moreover she is a bad performer. Even if we do not mention her as a bad performer, she is someone who are unreliable, non-initiative, bad understanding, forgetful and low self esteem. To be frank, i really faced huge difficulties and challengeable to train someone like her, really fed up and not motivated to train her anymore!!!
Speaking the truth, yes from the initial i do not want her to join me, because of impression on her, everyone who deal with her has bad impression about her. I received a lot of bad comment from others. No one even mention about her good point. Anyhow, no matter how much my dislike, i do not have an option but to start train her and assign job to her!
I used 1 week to train her on basic understanding of the job, explained to her on job scope as well as responsibility until officially assigned her to be a PIC of a model. At that moment, she supposed to work hard in order to complete her job within given dead line. But she used most of the time doing nothing until last minute told me she couldn't submit draft out to vendor. See, that's unreliable and irresponsible! Fine, anyhow i already expected that.
Worst come to worst when my boss triggered her in the meeting, asked her to explain why she did that last minute job! Then she said she don't understand her job well and thought that we were just given her training instead of assigned her a job. See...she starts to push away her responsibility and pretending to be innocent! Well, i kept quiet. My boss asked her again, whether she don't know how to do was purely because she don't understand or she did not received training, then she said yes, she did not received training. Again..she blame other (me). Anyway, boss knew that she lied because everyone knew that i trained her!
Well, i still have my overflown patient. I talked to her personally after the meeting and asked her to appreciate the one last chance. I promise to re-train her and requested her cooperation to voice out if she had anything which she don't understand. So i re-trained her even though i was in peak season of rushing my job. To make her understand the 1st page and our job responsiblity, i used up half day... My patient was cut to half at that moment. Finally she told me she knows everything of the 1st page. Following day when i gave her a review as an excercise, she failed to do it. She used about 90 mins to complete the 1st page (super simple job - estimated 10 mins to complete by me). Fine, let's just don't forget about the duration of completion, but the quality is suck! She get almost everything wrong! Again, i explained to her again and she claimed that she fully understand now! Again, i gave her another 4 review, and she only get 1 correct! (See.. still in the 1st page)...
My patient dried out. I asked her if she really like the job and she said yes she is initiative. God Damn initiative... If you are initiative you won't act like want me to spoonfeed you! I am not going to do that!! Come on, i really do not know how to put my 2nd step out. I do not know how should i train her! Just for the 1st page took me a week and some more she is still doing some error which she think that's just a god damn "careless mistake". Careless mistake kills!!! We are not allowed to have careless mistake, moreover you are given so many chance to make it right! Pissed off!!!!
Anyway, i tried to highligt this issue to the top and requesting for the instruction to stop training her. But the "top dog" asked me to give her one last chance! Duration of "last chance" are 2 months. I am so so disappointed to the management. Come on...this person is not only couldn't help me but dragging my progress. She is my burden! I have to work on both of our job and i still have to spend time on training her. Training her is damn so hard for me...not to mention that i always get backstabbed by her that i did not given her a proper training and i am so damn high expectation. I tell you, i already have a super low expectation on her where i let her to complete the shit 1st page for more than 1 hour without scolding her..i just wish that she could tell me when she don't understand or having any trouble but not sitting there doing nothing until i approached her.
Story about her can make me talk whole day. Better stop now. Really fed up and now really scatching my head on how to proceed for 2nd step. Today i expected more backstab things to me..because today the 'top dog' is going to talk to her. Good Luck Joy...
Anyway, almost all the job has been completed, what's left is just to train up my subordinate who might work with me continously. Why did i said "might", it's a uncertain term huh!? Actually she is someone who was given up by other group and thrown to me. Frankly speaking i do not want her to be with me, because i know she will drag my progress and make me into trouble. But because of some "top dog" insistent, i do not even have a chance to say No.
Training someone to do certain job isn't easy, moreover she is a bad performer. Even if we do not mention her as a bad performer, she is someone who are unreliable, non-initiative, bad understanding, forgetful and low self esteem. To be frank, i really faced huge difficulties and challengeable to train someone like her, really fed up and not motivated to train her anymore!!!
Speaking the truth, yes from the initial i do not want her to join me, because of impression on her, everyone who deal with her has bad impression about her. I received a lot of bad comment from others. No one even mention about her good point. Anyhow, no matter how much my dislike, i do not have an option but to start train her and assign job to her!
I used 1 week to train her on basic understanding of the job, explained to her on job scope as well as responsibility until officially assigned her to be a PIC of a model. At that moment, she supposed to work hard in order to complete her job within given dead line. But she used most of the time doing nothing until last minute told me she couldn't submit draft out to vendor. See, that's unreliable and irresponsible! Fine, anyhow i already expected that.
Worst come to worst when my boss triggered her in the meeting, asked her to explain why she did that last minute job! Then she said she don't understand her job well and thought that we were just given her training instead of assigned her a job. See...she starts to push away her responsibility and pretending to be innocent! Well, i kept quiet. My boss asked her again, whether she don't know how to do was purely because she don't understand or she did not received training, then she said yes, she did not received training. Again..she blame other (me). Anyway, boss knew that she lied because everyone knew that i trained her!
Well, i still have my overflown patient. I talked to her personally after the meeting and asked her to appreciate the one last chance. I promise to re-train her and requested her cooperation to voice out if she had anything which she don't understand. So i re-trained her even though i was in peak season of rushing my job. To make her understand the 1st page and our job responsiblity, i used up half day... My patient was cut to half at that moment. Finally she told me she knows everything of the 1st page. Following day when i gave her a review as an excercise, she failed to do it. She used about 90 mins to complete the 1st page (super simple job - estimated 10 mins to complete by me). Fine, let's just don't forget about the duration of completion, but the quality is suck! She get almost everything wrong! Again, i explained to her again and she claimed that she fully understand now! Again, i gave her another 4 review, and she only get 1 correct! (See.. still in the 1st page)...
My patient dried out. I asked her if she really like the job and she said yes she is initiative. God Damn initiative... If you are initiative you won't act like want me to spoonfeed you! I am not going to do that!! Come on, i really do not know how to put my 2nd step out. I do not know how should i train her! Just for the 1st page took me a week and some more she is still doing some error which she think that's just a god damn "careless mistake". Careless mistake kills!!! We are not allowed to have careless mistake, moreover you are given so many chance to make it right! Pissed off!!!!
Anyway, i tried to highligt this issue to the top and requesting for the instruction to stop training her. But the "top dog" asked me to give her one last chance! Duration of "last chance" are 2 months. I am so so disappointed to the management. Come on...this person is not only couldn't help me but dragging my progress. She is my burden! I have to work on both of our job and i still have to spend time on training her. Training her is damn so hard for me...not to mention that i always get backstabbed by her that i did not given her a proper training and i am so damn high expectation. I tell you, i already have a super low expectation on her where i let her to complete the shit 1st page for more than 1 hour without scolding her..i just wish that she could tell me when she don't understand or having any trouble but not sitting there doing nothing until i approached her.
Story about her can make me talk whole day. Better stop now. Really fed up and now really scatching my head on how to proceed for 2nd step. Today i expected more backstab things to me..because today the 'top dog' is going to talk to her. Good Luck Joy...
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