Black and white

Nowadays i really facing a problem.. whereby i fall into a same point .. "black and white".
Do you practice to keep all the "black and white" so that it keeps as an evidence to prove that you have done something? Well..previously i omit the importance of this, but now i trust that it is damn hell important!

Last month i get a complaint from someone that i did not do this and that and then i do that and this... and i cannot fight back that i already did this and that.. because i do not have black and white!

Then today i get another claim that they cannot do this and that for me because i did not request it earlier, while the truth is i did!!!i did asked them to do it so long aso but unfortunately i lost the fought because i don't have this black and white! and then i gonna say ok no choice because god damn it that i am wrong! very very pissed off!

You see, why am i falled into the same point for two times, and i learned nothing? why don't i always keep the shit black and white or create this idiot black and white and send to all management or cc to all big bosses? Why can't people just base on their sincerity and trust to work on something? Why people wanna bully you as they think you are kind hearted enough and think you are very good to be bullied? All are bullshit! fed up with all of this!

See, i just put this cute border collie wallpaper on my dekstop and wan this cutie to remind me so that i always bearn in mind that "black and white" is very important! see.. the dog is so black and white! pretty dog huh?!

Bitch comes into my dream!

Have you ever dislike somebody until you can even dream of him/her bad at night and wanna slap him/her in the dream?? I DO!

I am so dislike of a gal who used to play some dirty office politic trick and frequently backstabbed me!! yes, i admit that in this realitistic world, everywhere is full of this kind of person! but God DamnIt..this person is doing all this dirty trick to me! I hate her! Frankly speaking she is the only one i hate in this office..

You know person who knows how to play this kind of trick is truly a smart one.. but i really felt disappointed or i should say i look down her! I hate person who have no ability and yet using all those silly trick just to put herself up and win some recognition! Don't have to mention and you know she is polishing the bosses' shoes! Shit! silly chick!

The most funniest thing is i dislike this girl until i dreamt of her last nite! haha.. she was in my dream and some sort of threatening me and asked me to do her some favor. If i don't want to do her that.. she's gonna do something to make me lost my chance. Know what?! I almost got the chance to slap her... but i wake up! kakaka... see!! Guess today when i see her face in the office, i gonna laugh secretly...you dirty bitch!

Gonna make it different!

Life is gonna change a little bit from yesterday onwards.. until... ermm.. i hv 12 days time.
why? hehe.. becoz my "best friend" went oversea for biz trip..
So, rather than always feeling missing and loneliness.. i wanna make those days the very special and enjoy! yup.. it has to be enjoyable! at least i don't waste up these days. :D

I have some planning.. i wanna spend my time watching movie, reading my unfinished novel and book, facial treatment, hair treatment, keep fitting.. and of coz completing my stupid and silly job! Oh ya.. of coz i still need to work.. so i gonna fully utilize my spare time to do something fun! Instead of laying lazily and moody there for nothing.. and ends up when he came back.. i done nothing. So stupid huh!?

Yesterday, i been through a very very busy day. I spend whole morning sending and replying my best gal friend email.. we were talking about a new started relationship of her.. Congratulation to her and wish her happiness. Then spending my whole afternoon trouble shooting and doing some draft job. For god sake, i work until 9 something at nite.. my god! i am so tired and did not able to complete it! I reached home before 10pm. Fortunately, i still hv time to entertain myself by watching a unfinished show.. quite funny! I went to bed at 1130 pm and wake up at 4am.. jz becoz i am too tension of my unfinished job! My god..

Today.. i spend whole morning doing nothing but the draft.. adding some interruption from some vendor and make my job more and more... Gosh!!!! hehe..but i still able to complete it before 4pm. really tired! Luckily tomorrow i don't hv to work..must hv good rest then! hehe...

Pretender or High EQ?

Do you feel of laughing or smiling even though you are not really happy?
Lately, one of my colleague keep asking me to smile.. and i was wondering..why? Why is he always asked me to smile... Today i was like come on! i always smile! What's going on to yoU! and he told me that... i know you are not happy, although there's a smile on your face.

I keep thinking about his words.. but it doesn't annoyed me much! Today when i was at the petrol station, someone reversed his car and knocked on mine! A minor crash and my heart was like... OMG~!!! very nervous and worry..but gosh...the silly smile is still hanging on my face..and i told my friend..Is ok..nvm..

All the way back..i was like lost my soul..but i am still smiling! Crazy and funny... What is going on to me? Am i turn to be a pretender or i have an upgraded EQ?! Cannot believe that...

Afterall, i start to think back what my colleague told me! "I know you are not happy, although you are smiling!" What a pity! I am so fake!

I don't know my feeling now, actually i just don't know! sometime i just feel i am so tired..especially when someone still trying to challenge my emotion by arguing about some issue like crying baby...Really fed up sometime.. Anyway, i successfully protect my emotion by avoiding the condition to turn bad! boring! Arghh....

Desperate of keeping a dog!

People who know me well knows that i am very much a dog lover. Yeah! i love dog very very much. Last time i used to have few dogs at my house but now no more now! OK, actually last time i have quite a numbers of dog and although i love playing around with them, i guess i not really taken up the responsibility of taking care of it! What do i mean? Well, except of playing around with them.. i do nothing! All are done by my mom.. She do the cleaning, food feeding, bathing.. everything!

So, i gave myself very good excuse that the reason i wasn't really into it is because they are not a good breed but mix! hehe.. so, i keep on dreaming to have a good breed dog one day.. Unfortunately, getting myself a dog isn't easy. u know why? a pure breed's dog is so so expensive. (of course depends on the breed)...

But you know, i want to have a big size and fury fury dog. With this requirement, i have less choice if thinking about the weather of Malaysia and my ability! Golden retriever and labrador retriever of course is the best option, but it is very much too friendly and hyperactive. I wish i can have a guard dog! So, perhaps guard dog category dog is more preferrable for me! Rockweiler, german shepherd or doberman is all very good dog!.. but i have my fantasy on german shepherd. hehe...

I think i can have it and imaging the fury fury big dog sleeping on floor while i sleep on bed. hehe.. great huh!? i can have someone to talk to when i have insomia.. keke.. so multi purpose dog ya! When i out for work, he can be at home take good care of my mum and dad... maybe i can train the dog to do some simple task.. and sooner or later i have a good life helper! kekeke

okok..stop dreaming now.

Insecurity of Job

Working alone really isn't that fun or enjoy! Yup, someone might say working alone, you be able to make your own decision, no interruption and you earn all the recognition..etc..etc.. But working alone is very lonely, you have no people to discuss your problem and have no one to share you stress or burden.. You have to cope everything by yourself and grab all the responsibility with you.

Lately, i felt so much intention of leaving my current job! Whatever it is.. quit and search for some new job! Perhaps i don't have to be in this line anymore, searching for some other job which suits me more! Or..give myself a break and think wisely on my future undergoing! Sometime we do not know what we want and what's our target and unintentionally we pick a wrong path to go...

It's not that i am regretting for taking up this job..jz i felt sense of loniness for being a lone-ranger! People say i am pioneer..but i see myself nothing because i am actually doing everything and ends up i might not promise any pay back. I might get nothing this time.. i mean no promotion and nothing..

Really getting less and less motivated. Gosh! who's going to motivate me?! I am out of mood..tired of working now. Anybody have any good job to introduce me? please~

Insects attacked!

Time passed so soon and chinese new year is jz gonna at d corner! I remembered when i was young, CNY is my favourite and most waiting forward holiday. Why? Becoz i hv many "ang Pao" and long holiday... But when i getting elder and elder.... i start to lost my passion on this event.. of coz is not becoz of the reducing amount of "ang pao" but the happiness of those days..

Anyhow.. this year is gonna be a very different one from past 24 years.. becoz this year we will enjoy our "OWN" family gathering.. without some other "peace destroyers" or "pretender" to join us.. I hope it's gonna be a very wonderful, lovely and simple CNY.

One thing i really don't like about this season is that weather getting truly hot! Really fed up..! Now.. the weather already started to gettng hot! and when comes to the nite.. weather change drastically and a groups of small insects coming from nowhere!

I have been attackign by this small insects for days.. really pissed off! Not sure what happen, perhaps is becoz the light which attracted them.. but come on!! gv me a break! i need to sleep.. i has been awaked at 3am in the morning for days.. and running away from my room!

Gosh@.. can't believe that i was attacked by insects.. for no reason! i must hv done something bad..! No...please.. i'm really gonna be exhausted for lack of rest.. jz let me sleep tonight! please~

Happy New Year 2008

Happy New Year...
Wishes you alwz happy n stay healthy...

So how do you celebrate ur new year eve? Enjoyed?
I have a quite unforgetable new year eve celebration! Yup!.. the most terrific in my 25 yrs.
It is my 1st time i saw "古惑仔" or we called it gangsters in my real life!
Luckily no one was hurt! Thanks god!

On new year eve, together with some friends, we went to a pub nearby the Penang jetty.. it is a happening place and we thought it must be a great place for such a happening day! We paid and enjoyed there... but around 1 hours later, about 30 mins before the new year, a group of gangsters with helmet on their hand rushed into the pub and start to smash everything (exclude the people)...

We were caught in surprise and so scared... they thrown the tables and chairs into the sea and smashed the beers, liquors, glass, decoration, tables, counter..etc etc that they able to smash! The floor is full of broken glass... It is so so so terrify!

We ran away immediately without able to safeguard our paid beer or souvenirs. so unfortunately! Paid for RM240, we only drank half of the beers and left half to be broken by those gangsters!

Cool ya!? Btw...really feel ashamed with them!

Btw, it was no doubt a very memorable new year i have passed!