Yesterday, i have went through a very cruel realistic fact! Ermm..maybe i shouldn't use the words "went through".. I shall said "seen". Yes..yesterday i had been given a chance to "visit" our company's new cafetaria.
Actually the "visit" was out of my wish..Frankly speaking, i was "forced" to join a team of people to make a safety audit to the new cafetaria. I don't want to use the word "forced" if i am too free or even the audit is organized by some other person who give me better face. But anything organized by that "Lady" really make me feel unbearable. {why? there's such a person? i tell u later, maybe in other topic}...
Let's go back to the main point.. what is the realistic fact? Well.. at first we jz walked around at the cafetaria area and checked and commented on those wet floor, fire extinguisher, zebra lines, smoking area, etc.. very common and "no harm" place. Then my group mates proposed that we shall walked into the kitchen to see if there's anything. So, we walked in.
Story starts here.. frankly speaking, i did not see any cockroach or rat or lizard... but~~... Auak!!!{vomit}..Really awful...Those raw material leave on the floor while the floor is so wet and dirty..Spillage of food everywhere... Unclean pot and plates leaving here and there. The unpleasant smell... arghh!!! I jz don't understand how those workers can stay inside there! I would have fainted if i were there for more than 10 mins.
Well, passing the hot kitchen (Chinese cuisine), we went to another hot kitchen (malay cuisine)... I don't want to think back, it's like another mess. I doubt how they walk around in that kitchen as dustbin throwing all over the floor, uncleaned pots, plates, raw food etc.. is all on the floor.!!! Cannot even look at it..I am so so worried that i might slipped and fall.. The floor is wet and so many "obstacle'.. Serious man!
OK.. all this can only make my appetite turns half bad.. until i reached the conveyor and plates cleaning area... I nearly vomit out.. {i felt so proud of my sense of control}... I swear if you see how they wash the plate, you will at least quit eating the food they served for at least 1 months. Gosh!!! They don't wash!!! ok, to be fair enough.they did... but i don't think what they doing is washing plates.. They are jz throwing away those unfinished foods and drop the plate into a pool of "detergents" and not even lap it... then take it up.. throw into another pool of "black water" and that's it! It's done. My goodness, imagine when you put your rice with some vege and pour some soup into the rice and stir it while eating deliciously.. yummy!!~~at the back of all this, you eatng the unclean shampoo, black water, ermm.... and not sure any other things that had crawled over the plate.. {arghh..stop thinking}..
So..that's it before i can elaborate more what i had seen in the cold kitchen and their food storage.. i think i better stop.. else.. it might become my nightmare and turns me into anorexia..
Tuesday, 28 August 2007
Friday, 17 August 2007
New Life Challenge
Lately, i have been offerred a new challenge. It was a job.
How should i say? Ermm... okie.
2 Weeks ago, one of my division head called me up and told me that management has a plan to form up a new group..or it should be called a department...
Well, forming up a department is not what i shall be control, however.. i have been offerred to join this new group and be the pioneer of the group.
To be more specific, it is a group to create or write service manual..
You must be thinking, what is service manual??? Service manual is a manual written for servicemen to carry out service and repair of our products.
Frankly speaking, i has nothing in my mind about service manual when my div head spoke to me about this job. I have totally no idea what the heck is that? What is the job function? What am i going to do and how hard is that??? All in my mind was jz wow!!! Great opportunity!! I can drop all my "Shit" job now and get my new life!!! Everything become so easy and wonderful as i only see the good side of dropping my current job and the "benefit" of taking up a new job... Haha... But i am not that desperate and i told him i will consider it. {but deep in my heart, there's voices coming out and say YES!YES! YES!!! - very loud}..
I don't much considering it because at that moment, i am truly happy and don't actually analyze the difficulty and challengeable of forming up a new department. So, the next week, i told him.. Boss, I am IN!
He seems to be very happy and soon enough my sector head give me a call and ask me to meet him. When i sat down in front of him, he starts to smile and said "Well, i think you have heard about your new challenge", "To be frank, you are alone and i am going to say that this is a very tough job"...{i started to sweat} ... and he starts to praise me.. "I see that this is a very tough job and i know i have to get someone who have clear mind and very powerful... And i know you are very powerful although you are young"..{Shit!!!...i starting to get colder and colder}.. Afterall, i don't remember what he told me.
Guess why am i so pressure? Come ON. First and foremost, i am the only one! I am alone and even if i die, i am going to die alone. That's a major problem! Second thing is that my boss has very high expectation on me.. i cannot fail him. No..not only i cannot fail him.. I shall show him very good result. You know what he did another day? He introduces me to another japanese boss and the first thing he mentioned to him is "she is very powerful". Gosh!! If you weren't saying that, i would have feeling better. I guess he is trying to motivate me with those "Sweet" words.. but it indirectly make me feel stress.
You know what i feel after the meeting? I felt like someone is sitting on my shoulder. After the meeting, when i walked out from the meeting room... i felt great pains on my shoulder, jz like a there's thousands tones of burden dropped on me!
Well.. recently i been busying meeting and meeting, collecting data, reading back those service manual created by Japan SM Group, interviewing designers, and prepare report. Really pressuring. Whenever am i, i am thinking of my new "Challenge"....
Anyhow, although it is much pressuring.. i still like it.. because as i first mentioned..i can drop my "shit" job while learning more knowledge and skills... and of coz if compare to my current job, it has brighter future and better market value.
How should i say? Ermm... okie.
2 Weeks ago, one of my division head called me up and told me that management has a plan to form up a new group..or it should be called a department...
Well, forming up a department is not what i shall be control, however.. i have been offerred to join this new group and be the pioneer of the group.
To be more specific, it is a group to create or write service manual..
You must be thinking, what is service manual??? Service manual is a manual written for servicemen to carry out service and repair of our products.
Frankly speaking, i has nothing in my mind about service manual when my div head spoke to me about this job. I have totally no idea what the heck is that? What is the job function? What am i going to do and how hard is that??? All in my mind was jz wow!!! Great opportunity!! I can drop all my "Shit" job now and get my new life!!! Everything become so easy and wonderful as i only see the good side of dropping my current job and the "benefit" of taking up a new job... Haha... But i am not that desperate and i told him i will consider it. {but deep in my heart, there's voices coming out and say YES!YES! YES!!! - very loud}..
I don't much considering it because at that moment, i am truly happy and don't actually analyze the difficulty and challengeable of forming up a new department. So, the next week, i told him.. Boss, I am IN!
He seems to be very happy and soon enough my sector head give me a call and ask me to meet him. When i sat down in front of him, he starts to smile and said "Well, i think you have heard about your new challenge", "To be frank, you are alone and i am going to say that this is a very tough job"...{i started to sweat} ... and he starts to praise me.. "I see that this is a very tough job and i know i have to get someone who have clear mind and very powerful... And i know you are very powerful although you are young"..{Shit!!!...i starting to get colder and colder}.. Afterall, i don't remember what he told me.
Guess why am i so pressure? Come ON. First and foremost, i am the only one! I am alone and even if i die, i am going to die alone. That's a major problem! Second thing is that my boss has very high expectation on me.. i cannot fail him. No..not only i cannot fail him.. I shall show him very good result. You know what he did another day? He introduces me to another japanese boss and the first thing he mentioned to him is "she is very powerful". Gosh!! If you weren't saying that, i would have feeling better. I guess he is trying to motivate me with those "Sweet" words.. but it indirectly make me feel stress.
You know what i feel after the meeting? I felt like someone is sitting on my shoulder. After the meeting, when i walked out from the meeting room... i felt great pains on my shoulder, jz like a there's thousands tones of burden dropped on me!
Well.. recently i been busying meeting and meeting, collecting data, reading back those service manual created by Japan SM Group, interviewing designers, and prepare report. Really pressuring. Whenever am i, i am thinking of my new "Challenge"....
Anyhow, although it is much pressuring.. i still like it.. because as i first mentioned..i can drop my "shit" job while learning more knowledge and skills... and of coz if compare to my current job, it has brighter future and better market value.
Saturday, 11 August 2007
Heart Breaking
Today i received some words that is so so similar like what someone talked to me few years back. Because of that silly words, i decided to release. Years passed, i still feeling so scared and don't want to refresh back that moment, the moment of glass breaking.. no.. heart breaking. That moment really make my pulse stop. How hard am i to struggle and breath back. Anyhow..all those sadness reduced time to time...
After few years... same blames i received. What't's going on? Perhaps so many years i thought i did improve myself...but i don't! I failed at the same point. I failed to the same reason.
Words out from mouth can not be pulled back! You knew that. I wasn't about "you're sorry!". Glass breaking sounds is so so obvious and loud out from my heart. Don't you heard that? It wasn't about "I'm sorry" and the broken glass can be glued back. Even it is, there's still cracked lines there. Everything jz not going to be the same.
P.S: This is how my heart breaking..jz like this glass..
After few years... same blames i received. What't's going on? Perhaps so many years i thought i did improve myself...but i don't! I failed at the same point. I failed to the same reason.
Words out from mouth can not be pulled back! You knew that. I wasn't about "you're sorry!". Glass breaking sounds is so so obvious and loud out from my heart. Don't you heard that? It wasn't about "I'm sorry" and the broken glass can be glued back. Even it is, there's still cracked lines there. Everything jz not going to be the same.
P.S: This is how my heart breaking..jz like this glass..
Friday, 10 August 2007
Dangerous Mad Dog Zone
Today i'm extra ordinary boring..All my silly job has been completed, important job..sick of doing it..pending job..keep on pending..haha....
But to pass the time, i have created some funny stuff... Dangerous Mad Dog Zone~~ Yeah..
Actually lately, i felt that i have mad dog symdrom. Emotional unstable and love to bite~~ So, jz becareful ya...Don't make me mad
But to pass the time, i have created some funny stuff... Dangerous Mad Dog Zone~~ Yeah..
Actually lately, i felt that i have mad dog symdrom. Emotional unstable and love to bite~~ So, jz becareful ya...Don't make me mad
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Family
Are you with your family? Do you love them?
I'm growing in a big family.
Whenever i said that, other will asked "Big Family?, There's only your parents, your brother & you!, How big is that?"
Normally to those i am not so close with, I will only smile back and say "ya"..jz lazy of explaining.
But to those close one, i will said "I have 2 mothers, my mum is the 2nd wife of my dad and we have total 10 siblings" Can it consider big family? No doubt!
Living in a big family isn't easy, some more my mum is 2nd wife. Anyone who heard about 2nd wife will think that my mum is the bad lady who stole my dad's love. I do not know what's the fact when my mum be with my dad. My big mum {dad's big wife} passed away due to cancer while i was in 7 yrs old. Then dad stayed together with us.
When i start to grow up bigger and bigger, i understand one theory. Even though we are so called this one big family, but those step brothers and sisters still unable to accept my mum, me and my brother. Sad to say that i always lies when my close friends ask me how's our relationship, i always said "we are very happy family". In Actual, is jz another scenario.
Everyone in this house is jz pretending to be good in front of dad. Behind us, they jz complaining and speaking a lot that i don't even want to mention here.
Day by day, they don't even come to visit dad. Some will comes once per month, some can only seen the face in cny. Really embarrassing. But what did they said? They said we {mum, bro & me} have take away dad from them. How can they say that, they don't even care about dad!!
But who knows about the fact behind. We do! Dad knew too. Without Mum, i don't think dad able to live until today 76 yrs old.
So many yrs, living in this so called "big family", i learned a lot of ability and i admit that i am very sensitive. Somehow, i think i'm also a pretender.
Frankly, i jealous those who have simple family. I wanted to be simply. No pretending, no accusing, no pinpoint..no hurt.
I'm growing in a big family.
Whenever i said that, other will asked "Big Family?, There's only your parents, your brother & you!, How big is that?"
Normally to those i am not so close with, I will only smile back and say "ya"..jz lazy of explaining.
But to those close one, i will said "I have 2 mothers, my mum is the 2nd wife of my dad and we have total 10 siblings" Can it consider big family? No doubt!
Living in a big family isn't easy, some more my mum is 2nd wife. Anyone who heard about 2nd wife will think that my mum is the bad lady who stole my dad's love. I do not know what's the fact when my mum be with my dad. My big mum {dad's big wife} passed away due to cancer while i was in 7 yrs old. Then dad stayed together with us.
When i start to grow up bigger and bigger, i understand one theory. Even though we are so called this one big family, but those step brothers and sisters still unable to accept my mum, me and my brother. Sad to say that i always lies when my close friends ask me how's our relationship, i always said "we are very happy family". In Actual, is jz another scenario.
Everyone in this house is jz pretending to be good in front of dad. Behind us, they jz complaining and speaking a lot that i don't even want to mention here.
Day by day, they don't even come to visit dad. Some will comes once per month, some can only seen the face in cny. Really embarrassing. But what did they said? They said we {mum, bro & me} have take away dad from them. How can they say that, they don't even care about dad!!
But who knows about the fact behind. We do! Dad knew too. Without Mum, i don't think dad able to live until today 76 yrs old.
So many yrs, living in this so called "big family", i learned a lot of ability and i admit that i am very sensitive. Somehow, i think i'm also a pretender.
Frankly, i jealous those who have simple family. I wanted to be simply. No pretending, no accusing, no pinpoint..no hurt.
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
Pissed Off Day!
Today is another typical busy day. But i still have time to update my blog here. Surprise?
I jz have no heart to work, i am not motivated!
I'm getting more and more emotional. Except of the cough, i felt so tired and frustrated.
Getting sensitive with every single little thing!
Really pissed off!!!
Lately, one of my colleague (the one who showing off his Dell laptop) really pissed me off! Not sure why is that everything is getting wrong on him. Every single words and action, really make me wanted to walk away. Jz not sure why am i so dislike his attitude. Frankly speaking i don't think i dislike his people, is jz that i don't like the style of he talking. Is seems like he is always right, while other are jz inferior.
OK. Let's talk about it (never mention about the Dell case). He used to be quite close to me in the office and sometime he will come over and chat with me. Whenever he saw me working, he will definitely comment something. "The poster you design really ugly!", "You really not so good in this!","Why don't you do that!", etc.. Well, sometime i do appreciate people giving comment, but defnitely not this way. If you are thinking to criticize me and saying that you are jz good enough, it's better you don't speak a word. Fine, jz forget about that, he can even make it a joke in front of other colleagues and saying that "she is really desigining the ugly poster!", etc..(sick of mentioning again!)
What would you do if you really face this condition? Serious? OK. To be fair enough, i don't actually scold him for his "kindness" of giving comment. I jz be more humble and said "Yes lo, i am really no talent".. But in fact, i jz DON'T BUY IT!!! and STOP DOING THAT!
So, day by day..he makes my grievances more and more. BUT!!! He don't know about that..and continue doing the same thing whereby today he also complained about my bad choice on purchasing a software. SHIT! it is OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
Well.. i told this to a "friend" of I.. and he jz give me some words.. "Iya...Friend nia", "Don't pek cek la". OK. I shut up!
I jz have no heart to work, i am not motivated!
I'm getting more and more emotional. Except of the cough, i felt so tired and frustrated.
Getting sensitive with every single little thing!
Really pissed off!!!
Lately, one of my colleague (the one who showing off his Dell laptop) really pissed me off! Not sure why is that everything is getting wrong on him. Every single words and action, really make me wanted to walk away. Jz not sure why am i so dislike his attitude. Frankly speaking i don't think i dislike his people, is jz that i don't like the style of he talking. Is seems like he is always right, while other are jz inferior.
OK. Let's talk about it (never mention about the Dell case). He used to be quite close to me in the office and sometime he will come over and chat with me. Whenever he saw me working, he will definitely comment something. "The poster you design really ugly!", "You really not so good in this!","Why don't you do that!", etc.. Well, sometime i do appreciate people giving comment, but defnitely not this way. If you are thinking to criticize me and saying that you are jz good enough, it's better you don't speak a word. Fine, jz forget about that, he can even make it a joke in front of other colleagues and saying that "she is really desigining the ugly poster!", etc..(sick of mentioning again!)
What would you do if you really face this condition? Serious? OK. To be fair enough, i don't actually scold him for his "kindness" of giving comment. I jz be more humble and said "Yes lo, i am really no talent".. But in fact, i jz DON'T BUY IT!!! and STOP DOING THAT!
So, day by day..he makes my grievances more and more. BUT!!! He don't know about that..and continue doing the same thing whereby today he also complained about my bad choice on purchasing a software. SHIT! it is OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
Well.. i told this to a "friend" of I.. and he jz give me some words.. "Iya...Friend nia", "Don't pek cek la". OK. I shut up!
Wednesday, 1 August 2007
Baby, U want?
Do u like baby?
I like baby, and wanted baby..BUT NOT NOW!!! Yes!!! NOT NOW!!!
Everytime when i saw those baby, i really like to look at them and hold them, but i not sure.. i jz don't think baby like me. Maybe i don't know how to hang around with them, play with them.. I truely don't know how.
Last week, my bf and i bring along his sister, mum and a baby (babysitted by his mum) to shopping mall. Due to we worried the baby will be noisy, so jz both of us went to cinema while the rest of them hanging around in the mall.
After the movie, we met them somewhere and went for dinner. Before that, the baby is walking (she has a baby car), and she refused to sit in her baby car. So, i saw she is exploring her way and my bf's mum and sister was chasing behind. From what i saw, i think that the baby is too much pampering by them, since the big guys are chasing behind, make her become more excited in "walking" around. So, once they get her up, she started to cry like the ceiling is jz about to drop down. OK, they put her down again.. and she started to "run" again! I was fed up of looking and stand beside.
Ok, finally we were to be seated in the restaurant. Once we sat down, she immediately grabbed the spoon on the table and dropped it. Unfortunately it was made of glass. Everyone looking to us, so embarrassed. Well, we asked the waitress to send us a baby chair and make her sit inside. Once we put her down, she started to scream and cry again. It's really frustrated. So, we have to hug her and walk around. I told them, she is too much of pampering, jz ignore her and leave her there. When she saw everyone ignoring him, she will stop it. But they said that she was tired and wanted to sleep. OK, i might not be too experience on that, so i shut up! Then one by one hugged her and walked around..until we finished our meal.
Everyone was tired, we went home then. Everyone was expecting she was too tired and will slept in the car, who knows she was the most energetic one. Even after we reached home, she still yet to fall asleep.
Come On! I might not be experience but so far from what i see, this family is too much of loving this baby. They never punish if she do something wrong. {well, punishing such a 1 yr old baby might sound funny} but, they are jz like too much of pampering.
One case, the little baby is so smart and she wanted to play my laptop instead of their house pc. So, whenever she saw my laptop appearing in their house, she is too excited to come over and smash my keyboard and print all her finger print into my laptop screen. What would you do? I am patient enough as i think she is jz a baby and she knows nothing. But what about those adults? My bf is also the one who allow! Funny right? He can still hugging her to smash my laptop and don't even stop her. Until they hit my level of patient, and started to say "No baby no" {softly}, then he will say "cannot ah xxx, cannot" without even pull her away from my laptop. OK. Continue smacking! Shit!!!
Too much of pampering, man! My feeling is yes, a baby is cute and we love her is great enough. But too much of pampering don't mean loving her, you ruin her day by day. She is so much stubborn i can see even though she is jz 1 yr old plus.
Sounds strange for me to comment on a baby girl who is jz 1 yr old plus, she has no fault. That's not her problem, but person who grow her up.
I am wondering, am i qualify to be a mother? No... i don't think so. Because i have no patient to take care of a baby yet.
I like baby, and wanted baby..BUT NOT NOW!!! Yes!!! NOT NOW!!!
Everytime when i saw those baby, i really like to look at them and hold them, but i not sure.. i jz don't think baby like me. Maybe i don't know how to hang around with them, play with them.. I truely don't know how.
Last week, my bf and i bring along his sister, mum and a baby (babysitted by his mum) to shopping mall. Due to we worried the baby will be noisy, so jz both of us went to cinema while the rest of them hanging around in the mall.
After the movie, we met them somewhere and went for dinner. Before that, the baby is walking (she has a baby car), and she refused to sit in her baby car. So, i saw she is exploring her way and my bf's mum and sister was chasing behind. From what i saw, i think that the baby is too much pampering by them, since the big guys are chasing behind, make her become more excited in "walking" around. So, once they get her up, she started to cry like the ceiling is jz about to drop down. OK, they put her down again.. and she started to "run" again! I was fed up of looking and stand beside.
Ok, finally we were to be seated in the restaurant. Once we sat down, she immediately grabbed the spoon on the table and dropped it. Unfortunately it was made of glass. Everyone looking to us, so embarrassed. Well, we asked the waitress to send us a baby chair and make her sit inside. Once we put her down, she started to scream and cry again. It's really frustrated. So, we have to hug her and walk around. I told them, she is too much of pampering, jz ignore her and leave her there. When she saw everyone ignoring him, she will stop it. But they said that she was tired and wanted to sleep. OK, i might not be too experience on that, so i shut up! Then one by one hugged her and walked around..until we finished our meal.
Everyone was tired, we went home then. Everyone was expecting she was too tired and will slept in the car, who knows she was the most energetic one. Even after we reached home, she still yet to fall asleep.
Come On! I might not be experience but so far from what i see, this family is too much of loving this baby. They never punish if she do something wrong. {well, punishing such a 1 yr old baby might sound funny} but, they are jz like too much of pampering.
One case, the little baby is so smart and she wanted to play my laptop instead of their house pc. So, whenever she saw my laptop appearing in their house, she is too excited to come over and smash my keyboard and print all her finger print into my laptop screen. What would you do? I am patient enough as i think she is jz a baby and she knows nothing. But what about those adults? My bf is also the one who allow! Funny right? He can still hugging her to smash my laptop and don't even stop her. Until they hit my level of patient, and started to say "No baby no" {softly}, then he will say "cannot ah xxx, cannot" without even pull her away from my laptop. OK. Continue smacking! Shit!!!
Too much of pampering, man! My feeling is yes, a baby is cute and we love her is great enough. But too much of pampering don't mean loving her, you ruin her day by day. She is so much stubborn i can see even though she is jz 1 yr old plus.
Sounds strange for me to comment on a baby girl who is jz 1 yr old plus, she has no fault. That's not her problem, but person who grow her up.
I am wondering, am i qualify to be a mother? No... i don't think so. Because i have no patient to take care of a baby yet.
New Image
Hehe...Finally i decided to cut my hair into short.
Now from the long hair sexy girl, i become a short hair secondary school girl..
Everyone starting to call me "little girl" like what my secondary school mate used to call me..
Sien!~~~
In fact, frankly speaking, i like this new image.. hehe.. i like it very much!
I look younger, fresher and cooler.. yeah!
By the way...after long time of long curl hair, i finally have a smooth soft hair now... hehe
Now from the long hair sexy girl, i become a short hair secondary school girl..
Everyone starting to call me "little girl" like what my secondary school mate used to call me..
Sien!~~~
In fact, frankly speaking, i like this new image.. hehe.. i like it very much!
I look younger, fresher and cooler.. yeah!
By the way...after long time of long curl hair, i finally have a smooth soft hair now... hehe
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